A Letter From Fidel Castro To Ozzie Guillen

Ozzie Guillen, manager of the Miami Marlins baseball team, landed in hot water this week for saying in an interview that he loved Cuban leader Fidel Castro because “A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that mother—— is still here”. The Blurt staff, in partnership with the Central Intelligence Agency, was able to intercept a personal letter from Castro to Guillen and we present it here:

Dear Ozzie,

The Cuban leader Fidel Castro. Español: El líd...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thanks so much for your very kind comments about me. I’m really sorry you’re having a tough time of it because of them. It is nice to say complimentary things about others. You’ve got to be smart about what you say though. Ozzie, bless your heart, you aren’t a smart man.

You are so right, a lot of people have tried to kill me for sixty years, but I’m still here. Who wouldn’t love someone who just keeps hanging in there like I have?

Well, many Cuban-Americans tend to be of a mind not to love someone who just keeps hanging in there like me, if in fact the someone being discussed is me. There are a lot of others who don’t like me, but I think you can rely on Cuban-Americans just not digging me or people who say they do.

So there are exceptions to that hanging in/love situation. You’ve got to keep the exception that is me in mind since you live in Miami now. That is really important.

Freedom, Speech And Knowing Your Audience

You see, Oz, I can pretty much say what I want to over here in Cuba. I can do that because, well, that’s sort of the deal over here. I say things, everyone else takes it. I’m the pitcher and the umpire. I always throw strikes. It has been that way for sixty years or so. Read the rest of this entry »