Policies of My Administration: MannanafnanefndPosted: January 7, 2013
I love Iceland.
Iceland, if you’re reading this, call me, maybe?
I’ve never been to Iceland, but I like the people and the country anyhow. There were Vikings in Iceland. That should raise the nation to the top of anyone’s list.
But Vikings are not the only great thing about Iceland. The country has volcanoes and glaciers. Hawaii shows off its volcanoes. Iceland dismisses Hawaii by pointing to its volcano with a glacier on top of it. Imagine a country that has so many natural wonders it has to stack them up. What you just saw in your mind’s eye is Iceland.
I’m not here to write about natural wonders, I’m here to add another common sense policy that will come in when my administration and I take over running the world. When I take over, I’m going to institute something that Iceland has.
My administration will have a Mannanafnanefnd.
Have you ever met an Icelander with a stupid name? Of course not. There are no Icelanders named Blue Ivy, Apple, Track or S. Epatha Merkerson because Iceland has the Mannanafnanefnd.
Mannanafnanefnd is the Icelandic Naming Committee. The committee ensures that Icelanders have names that:
- Have letters that are in the Icelandic alphabet (Iceland has their own alphabet. Another reason to love them)
- Are grammatically proper
- Will not cause the named person embarrassment
- Match the gender of the person named.
Because of the committee’s work, the top three male names in Iceland are Jón, Sigurður, and Guðmundur. For women, the top three are Guðrún, Anna and Sigríður. All those names are very cool. Anyone who says otherwise is itching for a Viking axe battle.
Oh and if you’re wondering, I think Mannanafnanefnd is a spectacular word. I will be retaining its services for my administration’s naming committee, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Khloe.
As much as I love Iceland, I know the naming committee as it stands won’t work everywhere. Most people don’t know Icelandic grammar or the alphabet. Hardly anyone knows how to say Guðmundur or Sigríður. That is why I will have a naming committee in every country.
A committee in every country will account for cultural and linguistic differences while preventing parents from burdening their children with “creative” names. It’ll also create jobs and streamline the name checking process.
Thanks for a great idea, Iceland. I’m going to have a feasibility study done on stacking natural wonders. I think that is your second best idea.