Ads for the film Superman Vs Batman were prominently featured during the NFL playoff games. But the promotions and the premise of the film have left many with one huge question – Why are Superman and Batman fighting?
I did some investigation, including speaking with both superheroes, to get to the bottom of things. It was sad to learn that this feud has been going on for longer than most of us have realized. And thought they’ve been solving our problems for so long, it looks like the problems between Batman and Superman are too deep rooted for us to help them resolve.
For Superman, It’s All About Power
“Look, the guy is a hero but there’s not a damned thing super about him”, Superman told me as he crystallized the issue between himself and Batman. “He’s got no real powers, just a bunch of gadgets and a mask. The other Superfriends – Aquaman, Wonder Woman and me, we were upfront about who we were. We didn’t hide behind some mask. And we’ve got powers – Aquaman can live under water and Wonder Woman…I mean, come on…you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout, am I right?”
Batman seemed to confirm that was a big part of the rift between them. “Yeah, yeah. Hero, but not a super hero. I’ve heard it from him over and over. It just got old. They say the Super Friends split up “to work on solo projects. Yeah, right, like we were the friggin’ Eagles, man. I’m telling you, it was his elitist attitude that did it.” Read the rest of this entry »
I woke up to the news that a University of Virginia student, Otto Warmbier, was detained by the North Korean government as he was leaving that nation after a visit. The North Koreans said he’d entered the country with “the intention of destroying the country’s unity”
Now, I’m sure that our government is doing everything it can to get Mr. Warmbier back across the Pacific quickly, so he doesn’t have to take incompletes on all his spring semester classes. We should all expect that sort of help when we’re in a jam; whether we travel to North Korea for a lovely beach vacation or to destroy some unity.
Nice Choice, Otto
But how far should the government go to rescue a young man who made a questionable vacation choice which put him in harm’s way? If Warmbier and his family have the money to send him to North Korea, we can reasonably infer that money could have been spent sending him somewhere less perilous. Being a tourist in a nation that has detained a number of your countrymen seems a bizarre choice. And when I say “bizarre”, what I mean is “stupid”. Read the rest of this entry »
Several years ago, some scientists called Pluto with some bad news.
“You’ve been great and all, but we’ve decided that you’re not a planet any more”, they said. Pluto was rightfully shocked. There had been rumors that one of the planets was getting demoted. The consensus was that Uranus, the most inappropriate of all the planets, was getting pink-slipped.
“I’m out here on the edge of the solar system. I define the outer limit. I’m so inoffensive and Uranus just begs to be mispronounced. Why me?”, Pluto asked.
“Look, it’s nothing you’ve done”, he was told, “we’d be happy to recommend you to any other grouping of celestial bodies. It’s just that, well, frankly…everyone knows where Uranus is simply because it sounds dirty. We’re sorry.”
Show Me Yours And I’ll Show You Mine
It’s true. Uranus is unique among the (remaining) planets. No one snickers when you mention Mars or Neptune, but people giggle when you bring up that one planet that starts with a U. Everyone knows where Uranus is, but not many can pinpoint mine. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday, I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant. That’s not so unusual. I am, after all, my parents’ only Asian son. But it was an unusual restaurant visit in that I didn’t get to eat.
I got to the restaurant shortly after opening and was shown to a seat. The owner came by, took my order and left. A few minutes later, the waitress came to my table and told me they couldn’t make any food because their gas was turned off.
So, yesterday, I went to my second favorite Chinese restaurant. This one is a carry-out joint with a few tables and a system for remembering to pay their gas bill. I got a Diet Coke with my lunch and grabbed a seat.
Coke has been doing a promotion where they suggest who I should share my beverage with. I’ve had suggestions to drink my Diet Coke with all sorts of people. This time, my bottle suggested that I share my drink with a Polar Bear.
Is that really a good idea? Read the rest of this entry »
I noticed that you announced on Facebook that I could apply to be an astronaut. Thank you for letting me know.
You might reconsider putting that sort of thing on Facebook when you see the quality of the other applicants. Of course, that message did reach your obvious target audience. I suppose that you have to deal with some lower quality Facebook astronaut wannabes to get to a prime candidate like me.
It’s probably best that you get away from that stereotypical young test pilot with a crew cut sort that you’ve been hiring since the sixties. You just don’t know what you’re going to get from them.
No, wait. Actually, I think you do know what you’re going to get from them and it’s boring. I’m certain there are things that are attractive about knowing you’re going to get a measured and reasonable response from a person under pressure. But when the chips are down and the navigation computer is too, is a little bit of freaking out in a space capsule such a bad thing? Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been a little tough to get my writing done the past few weeks. Unfortunately, I had to go on vacation with my wife and a lot of my other friends. And of course, I picked up a cold as a souvenir. Then I had to have surgery.
To clarify, I did not have surgery to cure the cold. Everyone knows you starve and/or feed a cold. I had to have surgery to repair a hernia.
Yeah, somehow I ended up with a hernia. Two, in fact. See?! Writing is hard work.
I Got A Hernia From Writing, But Anyhow…
I’m a nice guy. There are people who would take issue with that. This isn’t their website, so you’ll have to take my word for it. I am nice.
I also believe that medical folks, especially nurses, are special people worthy of exceptional respect. And it is important to be kind to people who are going to sedate you and poke you with sharp stuff. So when I went to the hospital yesterday for surgery, I was very nice to everyone. Read the rest of this entry »
I like dogs.
That’s not really controversial. But in today’s world, if you’re going to say something about an individual who is a member of a group, you must establish that you’re not speaking of the group, lest you offend. Dogs are wonderful. They are our friends, protectors, co-workers and companions. They ask for nothing in return but friendship and some of whatever you’re eating. No, really, whatever you’re eating is fine, just ask them.
So yeah, I like dogs. And I like how revel in having their heads out of the window when they ride in a car. I’ve considered trying that, if only to understand the attraction. Unfortunately, I’m certain that I’d get distracted and hit my head on a stop sign. Nothing good would come from that.
Now That The Disclaimer Is Done
The other day, I was running around town, enjoying the fall weather with the top down on my car. Someone ahead stopped to make a turn and I found myself in a small pack of traffic. In the back seat of the car ahead of me was a dog.
As we accelerated, the dog’s head popped through the open window. His ears flopped in the wind. He barked at cars in the oncoming lane. He didn’t miss any; each car got its own bark. Read the rest of this entry »