I’m Sick Of Frozen

You know what? Enough is enough. Though I have not seen (and will not ever see) the movie Frozen, I am officially sick of it.

As best I can tell from the blizzard of crap for sale in stores, the movie has three characters. There is a blonde girl who smirks a lot, a red-haired girl who seems secondary to the blonde girl and a snow man who looks like a demented pile of soft-serve ice cream. They live somewhere cold, because, well, Frozen, right? Of course it is frozen; soft-serve ice cream can’t just walk around on a magical island near the equator, can it? Read the rest of this entry »


Three Years Later

This doesn’t mark three years ago that my friend died, the number is now four. I tried writing something new about him but the words didn’t come this year. Sometimes it goes like that. This is a reprint of last year’s piece on this date.

Humor returns to the blog tomorrow.

Today, as every day, I miss Fred.

 

Three years ago today was a Friday. I’d slipped out-of-town for an over-night visit with my son at college. By the time I arrived, Fred had passed away back home.

Despite a heroic effort to contact me, I didn’t know we’d lost him until I read the news the next morning. I remember staring a lot that day. There were other things, but mostly there was staring.

That Saturday night, back home, I was still staring. I published what I felt that night, and then went to work at 4:30 a.m. Sunday, on no sleep, for my first shift without him. I wasn’t the only one sleepless and staring.

The staring returned this morning. I’m angry about the accident that cost his life months before he was to retire. I’m hurt for his family as they move on without him. I’m disappointed that I can’t call him to laugh about some of the stories we lived through and compare notes on how much being retired from The Job doesn’t suck.

But I’m also happy to have had the privilege to enjoy time with Fred. That’s the direction I hope the staring takes me today.

Things are better than they were three years ago. A lot of water has gone under the bridge. I’m stronger, healthier and smarter. I’ve even learned lessons because Freddy had to leave; I’d rather have stayed ignorant of those.

It is quiet today. I’ll take time to think about the stuff we saw and did. And about pulling each others bacon out of the fire on several occasions. And finding each other on SWAT calls and saying “I’ll see you when this is over”.

Life goes on, brother. It is good.

I’ll see you when this is over, but it’s gonna be a while.

Fortes Fortuna Juvat.


I Predict The Winners Of The 2015 Academy Awards

When my friends think about glitz and Hollywood, they think about me.

Because of that, they’ll be excited to learn that I am giving all the little people the benefit of my knowledge of film, acting and the stars. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after you read this, you’ll know exactly who will win the Oscars and can spend your evening doing something productive. You’re welcome.

…and the Oscar goes to… (image by toughpigs via muppetwikia)

Let’s get started, shall we?

Oh, by the way, I haven’t seen any of these flicks. No, not even one. Read the rest of this entry »


A Discussion Of Chinese Breakfast Food

Yesterday morning, while I was in the refrigerator trying to spot what I was going to have for breakfast, my eyes fell upon some leftover Chinese food.

I’d guess that some of you don’t like the idea of eating Chinese food for breakfast. But I’d point out to you that pancake suppers are a common fundraiser and a fun change of pace for a lot of families. And who among us hasn’t had cold pizza to start their day?

Wonton soup. It’s what’s for breakfast. ( image by AlejandroLinaresGarcia CCbySA3.0)

So I enjoyed half of a large order of wonton soup and a few pan-fried dumplings for breakfast. They were absolutely delicious. If you haven’t had Chinese food in the morning, you are missing out on a treat. Read the rest of this entry »


Good Stories Don’t Start With Someone Having A Salad

Every fall, I catch up with a group of my closest friends. We travel to Florida together to stimulate that state’s economy by hanging around in bars and filling up bartender’s tip jars. No, Florida, you don’t have to thank us. We do it because it is the right thing to do.

Well, we do it for a lot of other reasons too, but that’s what I’m hanging my hat on for now.

Like Many Stories, This One Doesn’t Start With Me Having A Salad

A little over four months ago, we were at it again. It was late in our week away from home, we were enjoying a band and having a good time. One of our group tossed out the question “why do we keep coming to this warm place, listening to this music and drinking beer?”. The question brought a flurry of sarcastic answers like “I don’t know, I think I’m going to fly out early” and “I’m not coming next year”.

Delicious, but not an inspiration, yet.(image by jeffreyw CCbySA 2.0

And then came the answer that stuck to me like honey mustard dressing does to the front of my shirt – “Because good stories don’t start with someone having a salad”.

I will admit that most of the stories involving this group of friends begin with us going out for drinks and end with someone doing something like wandering the halls of a hotel clad in a leopard print robe*. But I was certain that somewhere, maybe in another group of friends, there had to be a story that began with someone enjoying salad. Read the rest of this entry »


Charlie Brown, M.D.

Last weekend, my wife’s mom took a nasty spill on some ice. This reinforces my position that ice is nothing but trouble when we let it exist outside of a cup or cooler.

Ice, where it belongs. (image by nattu CCbySA2.0)

Anyhow, the nasty spill led to a broken leg. The break led to an ambulance ride, which led to hospitalization and ultimately, surgery.

The day before the surgery, my mother in law was visited in the hospital by one of the physicians on staff. We’ll call that doctor, Doctor B.

After the surgery, Doctor B’s partner, Doctor A, came by to check on her. Because she’d been seen by so many doctors, when Doctor A spoke of his “associate who saw her yesterday”, she didn’t know which physician he was talking about. Doctor A settled the question by describing his associate:

“He’s a middle-aged guy, balding, with a big moon face. He looks like Charlie Brown.”

It happened that I was in the hospital room when Doctor A gave that description of his partner. I had a laugh and put the matter out of my mind – until the next day. Read the rest of this entry »


I’m Insulted, And I’m Not Even Irish

I enjoy cooking. I’ve done a lot more of it recently; my retirement gave me the time I needed to expand the sorts of dishes that I’ll take on. Taking on new dishes requires a lot of trips to the supermarket for ingredients.

(image, public domain)

My love for food and cooking gave me the chance to see something so odd that I was able to expand my ability to be offended. Yes, I was offended on behalf of a nation and an ethnic group that I am not affiliated with in any way.

Irish folks, on behalf of the rest of us, I’m sorry for what I’m about to show you. Read the rest of this entry »


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,596 other followers