When I Am Rich: Opposition Research
Posted: February 1, 2012 Filed under: When I Get Rich | Tags: comedy, humor, Opposition research, politicians, politics, postaweek2012 28 Comments »
Not a lot of good happening in here. (Image via Wikipedia)
I don’t think well of politicians. I’ve not known many who have given me reason to change my position. The optimist in me insists that I keep my eyes open just in case a good one comes along.
So far, a good one hasn’t come along.
Election season is here in the US, and the airwaves are full of people circulating ideas about their opponents and the nation. I’m about sick of hearing them. I’m sick of everything about this election except for the concept of opposition research.
Opposition research is the practice of poking around in an opposing political candidate’s background to find unflattering information on that opponent. That information is doled out to the press and the public to gain an advantage over that rival. While I don’t like politicians, nor how they operate, I do like the idea of having an opposition research staff at my disposal. When this blog makes me rich, I am going to hire people to do opposition research for me.
Who Are My Opponents?
It is natural to wonder who I would have my staff dig up dirt on. After all, who really opposes me? I know, it’s just a silly, trick question. No one would dare oppose me. But my wealth and fame will change some people’s reaction to me. I really should be ready to trash them. Read the rest of this entry »
Perhaps…
Posted: May 2, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bin laden dead, current events, democrats, navy seals, news, osama bin laden, politicians, postaweek2011, republicans, september 11 29 Comments »…this is a day for quiet remembrance, not chest thumping. Read the rest of this entry »
The Beginning Of The End Of The Donald Trump Campaign
Posted: April 15, 2011 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: celebrities, comedy, current events, Donald Trump, humor, Muammar al-Gaddafi, news, politicians, politics, postaweek2011, presidential election 2012, republicans, us politics 50 Comments »I make it a point to avoid politics. I was taught at a young age that politicians are suspect characters on their best days. I’ve never met a politician on their best day.
Goodbye! (Image by Gage Skidmore via Flickr)
Despite my effort to remain apolitical, a recurring story in the US political news has caused me some concern. Apparently, Donald Trump is preparing to run for president. I have a hard time thinking of someone more despicable than Mr. Trump. After consulting some high level political minds, I realize that I must do something more than use my one vote.
That something starts today. I am announcing that I am running for president in direct opposition to Donald Trump.
My Online Press Conference
Posted: April 6, 2011 Filed under: Foolishness, Press conference | Tags: blogging, comedy, humor, politicians, politics, postaweek2011, press conference, random, thoughts 67 Comments »
Your questions are welcome. (Image via Wikipedia)
Today, I am holding my first online press conference. I will enter the room at the appointed time and respond to your questions following a prepared statement.
Please, take your seats ladies and gentlemen as we switch to our reporter in the Press Room at Blurt World Headquarters who will set the stage for us. Read the rest of this entry »
Boxing Day – How And Why You Should Celebrate It
Posted: December 17, 2010 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: Asti Spumante, Boxing Day, boxing day (Canada), celebrities, Christmas, christmas party, comedy, fiction, George Foreman, Grover Cleveland, holiday party, humor, New Year, observations, parody, party, politicians, Roman Emperor, United States 23 Comments »December 26 marks the most under celebrated holiday in the United States. We all know that Americans are not averse to celebrating holidays, so why is it that so few of us celebrate Boxing Day?
The answer lies in two related concepts – ignorance and corporate sponsorship.
Sponsored Ignorance
Circle it on your calendar. Your calendar, not this one (Image by hichako via Flickr)
I was a boy when I first saw Boxing Day noted on the calendar. I questioned my parents about my discovery but neither could give me any answers. This caused me much stress. I thought my parents knew everything.
Decades later, I have come to understand that my parents do know everything, except about Boxing Day. That exception is because of the conspiracy between the greeting card and sparking wine industries to protect their profits by making Boxing Day a non factor as a holiday. Read the rest of this entry »
Requirements for my speaking engagements
Posted: April 24, 2010 Filed under: Foolishness, Uncategorized | Tags: celebrities, contract rider, current events, humor, politicians, Sarah Palin 18 Comments »
Sure, bendy straws. Whatever you want.
Recently there was much ado in the news about the rider to Sarah Palin’s speaking engagement contract. In it, she requested some specific things like bendy straws, specific air travel requirements and pre-screened questions.
I am not a Palin fan. The last time I wrote anything that was thought to be anything but overwhelmingly positive about her I got hate mail. Somehow that didn’t change my mind. I’m bringing her up now because, since she and I are both in the business of advancing silly opinions in public, her contract has me thinking of updating my requirements for future speaking engagements.
Please be advised that this is not my complete list of requirements. I reserve the right to add conditions as I develop needs or just feel like being capricious about things. Read the rest of this entry »
Joe Biden, Me and Spontaneous Potty Mouth
Posted: March 24, 2010 Filed under: Whats left | Tags: Biden, cursing, family, good intentions, health care reform, humor, obama, parents, politicians, thoughts 16 Comments »
Fuck yeah Joe!
So, the Health Care Bill passed into law here in the US. An opening like that is often a cue for people to start debating the bills merits, or, more likely, begin calling each other names. So I’m just going to say I’m glad it happened and I’m not going to try to talk anyone to my way of thinking about it. At the same time, I don’t think it is anyone’s place to talk me out of my thoughts.
What I’m really here to discuss today is Vice President Joe Biden’s pronouncement to President Obama that “this is a big f-ing deal.”
I’m sure some are howling about his choice of words. Let’s face it, sometimes people use the bad words. What I like is that Biden’s slip validates that we all get excited and say things sometimes. Read the rest of this entry »
People that have blurted back