Art Criticism: An Articulate Lion
Posted: May 2, 2013 Filed under: Art Criticism | Tags: art, Art criticism, comedy, humor, Lion, painting, postaweek, tokyo ska paradise orchestra 23 Comments »We all know the lion as “The King Of The Jungle”. The lions might have trademarked that phrase because none of the other animals seem to challenge the issue. Trademark or not, we accept it because we’ve heard it again and again. I’ve always thought it was a pretentious title.
Besides, the jungle holds more than one lion, but there can be only one king. The fact that there are so many “kings” probably contributes to the jungle being a poorly organized place.
And all lions get the “King Of The Jungle” title. It doesn’t matter if it applies to them or not. A lion who lives in a zoo is likely the king of his enclosure, but it would be hard for that cat to argue he has any influence over jungle affairs. It hardly seems fair that a kept lion bears the same title as a working lion.
Today’s art critique has nothing to do with jungle monarchy. It delves into the realm of animal art because it is a painting of a lion. Read the rest of this entry »
Art Criticism: Our Earliest Mammalian Ancestor
Posted: February 11, 2013 Filed under: Art Criticism | Tags: art, art critique, comedy, humor, Mammal, news, painting, science 42 Comments »Big news last week – scientists have developed a concept of what the earliest mammal looked like.
Finding out what the earliest mammal looked like is critical. That animal had a lot of responsibility. It is the ancestor to elephants, cats, dogs, monkeys, monkeys who ride dogs, even humans.
Imagine what we could learn from an animal that could handle that responsibility. I am the ancestor to one person and the pressure…my God, the pressure! If I multiply that pressure by billions of species and billions of individuals of each of those species, I get an animal that must have been superb. The scientists didn’t come up with superb.
Batman’s Guitar – An Art Critique
Posted: June 11, 2012 Filed under: Art Criticism | Tags: art, Art criticism, Batman, Batsignal, bloggers, comedy, humor, painting, postaweek 53 Comments »Do you know Eric Carroll? You should.
He is a blogger. He advocates for those with food allergies. Like me, it flies all over him to hear anyone called a retard. Unlike me, he plays guitar in the band Ernie and The Berts (check out their video for their song Toybox). He builds guitars. He might have participated in my surgery back in December, but I’m not certain of that because I was sleeping.
He does it all. Eric is the renaissance man, without the poofy pants and weird collar.
This post has nothing to do with him, though I know it is hard to know that so far. This post has everything to do with the cool painting he provided me to critique. Neither of us have been able to determine who the artist is. We know it isn’t him and it isn’t me.
Let’s give this work of art a look, shall we? Read the rest of this entry »
Art Critcism: Rodeo Cowboy With A Mona Lisa Smile
Posted: May 9, 2012 Filed under: Art Criticism | Tags: art, comedy, humor, miscellaneous, Mona Lisa, painting, postaweek, Rodeo 26 Comments »The art series rages on with another reader submitted painting.
All I know is that this painting comes from a restaurant. Given the presence of a cow and its boy, I think we can assume it is hanging in a steak house. It could be in a seafood restaurant, but I think that a painting of a rodeo would only hang in the most twisted of seafood joints. Read the rest of this entry »
Art Criticism: What Does A Sinus Headache Look Like?
Posted: April 16, 2012 Filed under: Art Criticism | Tags: allergy, comedy, Headache, humor, painting, pollen, postaweek, Sinusitis 34 Comments »Today, we are confronted with a painting submitted by long time Blurt reader, Hippie Cahier. Ever vigilant, The Hipster shot a picture of this abstract painting that is in her office and sent it over to me for analysis. We don’t know who painted it.
It has taken me some time to digest this work. I believe it is time well spent, but then again, I’m not going to go out of my way to admit that I waste time. I do, but you’ll never hear me admit it.
Now, let’s examine this work of art. Read the rest of this entry »
The Michelin Man’s Perv Brother: An Art Critique
Posted: February 20, 2012 Filed under: Art Criticism, Foolishness | Tags: art, Art criticism, Bibendum, comedy, humor, Michelin Man, painting 44 Comments »
The subject of my first critique.
After my first venture into art criticism, my foray into that field stopped. It wasn’t because of a lack of desire, it was that I could not find a suitable painting to critique. And then came yesterday.
I was on my way to my favorite coffee-house, Smelly Cat Coffeehouse, for a hot chocolate, skim milk, shot of raspberry, no whipped cream. About a block from The Cat, I saw the painting I’d been looking for. I couldn’t believe it. I’d been driving past it for weeks without really paying it the attention that art like this deserves.
Behold
The painting that I will be critiquing is part of a sign for a used tire store. The artist painted it directly on the brick wall of the building housing the business. I don’t know who the artist is. I’m certain it is not Picasso. I am also sure that it is not Jean Calomeni.
Behold, the subject of this critique:
Lawn Darts
Posted: August 16, 2009 Filed under: bad ideas | Tags: 60's, art, bad choices, bad ideas, children, family, games, humor, interactive, jail, jarts, lawn darts, life, miscellaneous, observations, painting, paintings, prison, random, the 60's 8 Comments »
Pointed weighty fun, or death with fins?
Yesterday, while cutting the grass, I thought about lawn darts.I can’t account for why. Maybe it was the heat getting to me.
I never had lawn darts, my parents were far too sensible to have bought them. I knew a couple kids who did have them, but even at a young age, I tended to think that perhaps they were not the best idea.
So, since I had them on my mind, I did some poking around on the net to learn a bit about them. Read the rest of this entry »
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