Five Routine Minutes: That Road Heads North Too
Posted: September 7, 2011 Filed under: Five Minutes, Foolishness | Tags: bad choices, chaplain, comedy, drawing, humor, maryland, postaweek2011, religion, souls 52 Comments »On Monday night I got to watch the football team from my beloved University of Maryland open the season with a win. As I watched the game, the prominence of the Maryland state flag on the team’s (hideous) new uniforms reminded me of an incident several years ago. It happened far from my home state, far from campus…in my office in North Carolina.
The organization I work for has always had chaplains on staff. My section was assigned a new chaplain. I was working at my desk and heard him come in and start introducing himself to everyone as he passed them. I got up from my desk as he got to me. Things were pretty standard at first.
I don't know why his wife had to be there. I wasn't going to question him about it if she didn't show.
I shook hands with them both and we did the small talk thing. Then Reverend Bob said something completely off the wall. Read the rest of this entry »
The Jolie Pez Project – The Jolie In Baltimore, Hon!
Posted: January 15, 2011 Filed under: The Jolie Pez Project, Uncategorized | Tags: angelina jolie, celebrities, comedy, humor, maryland, photography, postaweek2011 33 Comments »In her final stop on her tour of my home state, The Jolie arrives (eventually) in Baltimore, Maryland for her last stop of 2010. In Baltimore, she spent time with Wendi, who runs a great food oriented site called Bon Appetit Hon.
The Jolie took her time getting to Baltimore. In the end, a trip that would have taken 45 minutes by car took the Jolie twelve days by mail. It is during that trip that Wendi picks up the story…
14 Dec 2010
Dear Diary, his Blurtness has asked if I would like to host The Jolie. Wow. What could I say but yes? Oh but I forgot to ask whether there are any instructions I need to follow while caring for her. I’ve seen what happens when you get a Mogwai wet or feed it after midnight. I’d hate to be responsible for creating an army of Gremlin Jolie’s.
17 Dec 2010
DD, got word that The Jolie is on her way.
20 Dec 2010
Eat this cupcake. You can thank me later. (image via bonappetithon.com)
DD, I thought for sure The Jolie would have arrived by now. The Jolie Watch is officially in Day 3. I did manage to freak Blurt out with my bloggy E.S.P. and directed him to some killer cupcakes. (I provided a link to the cupcake recipe Wendi directed me to. You should follow it, buy the ingredients and make them. Everyone should eat one of those cupcakes in their lifetime – O.)
22 Dec 2010
DD, is The Jolie walking here? TJW Day 5.
25 Dec 2010
DD, situation looking grave. TJW Day 8.
27 Dec 2010
DD, I’m hoping this isn’t going to become an unsolved mystery like Amelia Earhart or the Bermuda Triangle. Although that could certainly lend some mystique to the legend of The Jolie. TJW Day 10.
28 Dec 2010
DD, I wonder if I could get The Jolie’s picture on a milk carton. Someone has to know where she is. Aren’t the first 48 hours after a disappearance the most critical? Well, we’ve gone way past that now. Maybe one of The Jolie’s previous hosts reported getting a ransom note? Perhaps they’ve demanded world peace or that Brad shave that dreadful facial hair? TJS Day 11. PS, this would make a spectacular Lifetime Movie…The Tale of The Jolie. I wonder who Blurt could get to play me? Read the rest of this entry »
2010 – The Year In Jolie
Posted: December 31, 2010 Filed under: Foolishness, The Jolie Pez Project | Tags: angelina jolie, Burning Man, California, celebrities, comedy, Flaming Lotus Girls, food, humor, Major League Baseball, maryland, North Carolina, North Carolina State University, the jolie, University of Maryland College Park 28 Comments »
Say hello to our little friend.
2010 was the first year of the Jolie Pez Project. I want to start out by saying that the project has already gone far beyond what I thought it could. My thanks go out to each of you who, at great risk to your safety and reputations, have allowed The Jolie into your lives.
I also would like to thank all the friends of The Jolie who read her adventures. Many of you are still awaiting a visit from our favorite action figure. I am happy to report that The Jolie will be traveling for quite some time. She has committed to visit all who invite her, anywhere in the world.
The Jolie Pez Project: Maryland and Panama City, FL
Posted: December 19, 2010 Filed under: Foolishness, The Jolie Pez Project | Tags: angelina jolie, celebrities, comedy, Florida, humor, jennifer aniston, jolie pez, jolie pez project, Lara Croft, Margaritaville, maryland, Natural History Museum, photo, photography, photos, travel, Washington DC 22 Comments »The Jolie’s latest visit was in Maryland and Florida with Thoughts Appear. This was a historic visit because it marked the first time anyone has risked air travel with the Jolie. Those who have met The Jolie know what a daring move that was. Imagine what could go wrong moving The Jolie through an airport checkpoint. Given the risk, I am surprised that this post did not end up coming to me from a prison email account.
Overall I had a wonderful time with The Jolie…once we established that I was the boss and Alpha Female. I discovered that The Jolie just needed a firm hand and a lot of discipline. Just one day after receiving The Jolie, I left Maryland to travel to Panama City Beach, Florida. She wasn’t too keen on being packed up again so soon, but she handled it pretty well.
The Jolie insisted on having her picture taken with the beautiful Gulf water behind her. I wasn’t too excited about her standing on the 6th floor balcony railing. I know she’s Lara Croft and would have some way to save herself, but I didn’t like the unnecessary risk.
Whenever The Jolie got lippy, I shoved her in my pocket – head first so she couldn’t enjoy the lovely beach scenery.
Whenever The Jolie gave me attitude, I punished her…by making her dig a hole to China. Read the rest of this entry »
The Jolie Pez Project: Annapolis and College Park, Maryland & Washington D.C.
Posted: December 2, 2010 Filed under: The Jolie Pez Project | Tags: angelina jolie, Annapolis, Annapolis Maryland, celebrities, comedy, humor, maryland, Maryland University, miscellaneous, naval academy, photography, photos, shopping, terrapins, testudo, University of Maryland College Park, white house 25 Comments »After a quick stop at Blurt World Headquarters, the Jolie traveled to Maryland where she spent several days with the author of the fine blog, Hippie Cahier. Over the course of their time together, Hippie thoroughly documented their adventures over on her blog and sent several highlights of their time to be displayed here on Blurt. Please take the time to look through Hippie’s work, I highly recommend it!
The Jolie arrived in time for dinner and enjoyed a glass of white wine and some light reading to help her relax after her travels.There was a small incident with the neighbors’ cat, but that’s what attorneys and homeowners insurance are all about, right?
An interview with Goatman
Posted: November 6, 2009 Filed under: interview | Tags: cryptids, cryptozoology, drive in, goat man, goatman, humor, interview, maryland, pg county 6 Comments »
Goatman. Kind of self explanatory.
I put the Blurt staff on the task of locating this month’s interview subject early. I thought I’d go for one of the superstars like Bigfoot or Chupacabra.
One of the interns was assigned to call Bigfoot. I probably should have used paid staff for that, it didn’t really work out as the kids first assignment. Chupacabra was a little easier to contact. He said he wanted to do it but had to put me off for other commitments. Read the rest of this entry »
People that have blurted back