I Proof You
Posted: May 11, 2010 Filed under: favorites, Foolishness | Tags: bizarre, business, comedy, dumb, dunce, honeysuckle rose, humor, literacy, observations, tattoo, willie nelson, words 29 Comments »I have a franchise business plan that will make me obscenely wealthy. Even if it only makes me fabulously well off, it will pay off in enough laughs to make it worth while.
People who wear this hat need our help.
My new business will be a proofreading service for dumb people. Why? Because dumb people insist on using words.
Every day dumb people get tattoos, make signs and deliver messages with words that they are wholly unqualified to use. By putting a proofreader in places where dumb people might use words, I will be in a position to help protect them from themselves (and rake in the bucks).
IPY
Here is how the business, called I Proof You (IPY) will work. Let’s imagine that there is an I Proof You franchise in a tattoo shop. A young man comes in to get some ink. Let’s say he is the young man I ran across the other day. The IPY representative would offer to proofread the text of his design for spelling errors, double meanings and other mistakes which could lead to permanent embarrassment for him.
Because you are a bright person, you might ask “if he is dumb, why would he be smart enough to pay for someone to proofread his tattoo before he gets it?” The answer is simple, IPY’s slogan “Pay us now, or we will work for free later.” What that will come to mean to the potential IPY customer is that, if he chooses not to pay for our service, we will tell him as he leaves the shop what his tattoo really means to people who are literate. Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes we just have to say what needs saying to those we love.
Posted: July 25, 2009 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: air brush, airbrush, bad choices, bad ideas, baseball, butt, clothing, family, friends, good intentions, humor, life, literacy, minor league baseball, miscellaneous, observations, random, rants, shorts, speak up, t-shirt, thoughts, truth, wedgie 5 Comments »Tonight we went to a minor league baseball game. I’ve loved baseball for as long as I can remember. I’d watch anyone play it, anywhere.
Tonight’s game was a little crowded, but not terribly so. It ended up being a pitchers duel; it remained 1-0 until late in the contest. I started looking around at the people seated nearby.
She's the best cheerleader mom in the whole trailer park.
My eye caught a man in the next section over. He wore a white t-shirt, with some sort of design and words airbrushed on it. Seeing exactly what the shirt said became an important goal.
You see, I believe that owning anything that was produced by an airbrush – a t shirt, a car tag, a motorcycle helmet, a sign – is the ultimate indicator of a lack of class, style and intelligence. I have yet to see someone wearing an airbrushed t-shirt that failed to validate my opinion. Read the rest of this entry »
People that have blurted back