Dear Home Depot, Nice Job On Those Instructions

Dear Home Depot,

You haven’t asked, but I’m going to go on and just tell you this. I’m a smart guy. How smart? Well, certainly not rocket scientist smart…but I’m bright. I did just fine in school. Somewhere, there’s a sheepskin with my name on it. I’m even smart enough to know that a sheepskin isn’t really skin from a sheep.

Do you know who else is really bright? My wife. She has two degrees, so she understands better than I do that a sheepskin is just an expression for a diploma.

We’re bright people, bright enough to know that we don’t know everything. For instance, we don’t understand accounting. Nor do we get why Kanye West fascinates some folks. The average person is repulsed by an impolite hack, but Mr. West has become wealthy because he is rude and lacks talent. It defies explanation.

But Enough About Us, Lets Talk About You

Something else that we don’t understand is why it should take two well-educated people an entire afternoon to install a light fixture they purchased in your store, especially when both have handled similar tasks. With two of us involved, putting up your  Hampton Bay Faux Alabaster Glass Semi-Flush Nut Meg Finish light fixture should have taken ten minutes, at the most.

But the instructions included with the light were awful. Read the rest of this entry »


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