I have a franchise business plan that will make me obscenely wealthy. Even if it only makes me fabulously well off, it will pay off in enough laughs to make it worth while.
My new business will be a proofreading service for dumb people. Why? Because dumb people insist on using words.
Every day dumb people get tattoos, make signs and deliver messages with words that they are wholly unqualified to use. By putting a proofreader in places where dumb people might use words, I will be in a position to help protect them from themselves (and rake in the bucks).
Here is how the business, called I Proof You (IPY) will work. Let’s imagine that there is an I Proof You franchise in a tattoo shop. A young man comes in to get some ink. Let’s say he is the young man I ran across the other day. The IPY representative would offer to proofread the text of his design for spelling errors, double meanings and other mistakes which could lead to permanent embarrassment for him.
Because you are a bright person, you might ask “if he is dumb, why would he be smart enough to pay for someone to proofread his tattoo before he gets it?” The answer is simple, IPY’s slogan “Pay us now, or we will work for free later.” What that will come to mean to the potential IPY customer is that, if he chooses not to pay for our service, we will tell him as he leaves the shop what his tattoo really means to people who are literate. Read the rest of this entry »