Driving on the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is a brutal ordeal, one that shouldn’t be undertaken by the faint of heart. The weird mix of aggressive, sleep deprived drivers, truckers, and people who seem to be behind the wheel for the first time in their lives makes driving any distance dangerous and no fun. Only New Years Eve is a worse time to drive.
The road took its toll on me. Tired, hungry and needing to off-load the ocean of diet soda I’d finished, I pulled off the interstate and into a truck stop. Read the rest of this entry »
The other day, I walked past a house for sale. The owner was selling their home without using an agent. They had a sign in the yard with the asking price of the house, a phone number to call and a familiar phrase -
Serious offers only
I thought about how ridiculous that phrase is. Making an offer to buy this, or any, house that was not serious would be pointless. It wouldn’t occur to me to call these people and say “I’ll buy your house for an i-Tunes card, a five-pound bag of Idaho potatoes, a crocheted hat, and either of the two backpacks I have in my closet.” Read the rest of this entry »
Preparing for what life throws at us is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves.
I find myself in a lot of situations, unsure of how I got there, or how I’ll get through it. I prefer to prepare by thinking through situations ahead of time when I can. Visualizing what success will look like and considering what I’ll have to do to get there helps me develop action plans.
Sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Just the other day, I ran across a solution for a problem I don’t have.
I Wasn’t Looking
On Saturday, I watched a college football game. The teams playing weren’t ones I’m connected with; I watch a lot of games just to appreciate the art of the game itself. As the announcers discussed one of the plays, the name of a defensive lineman for Ohio State hit me right in the ear – Noah Spence.
Mr. Spence played well; I’m sure he’s a great student and will go far in whatever he chooses to do. But he has one of those names that makes me think “someone didn’t say that name aloud before they gave it to that kid.”
Noah Spence. Noah Spence.
Noah Spence is a great name because it is a great play on words.
And then it hit me. Being Noah Spence could be useful, and not just to the student-athlete on the Ohio State defensive line. In a very specific situation, one that I don’t foresee myself in, I might change my name to Noah Spence. Read the rest of this entry »
I love music. Dancing is pretty good too, if someone else is doing it. When I take over running the world, my administration will support music, dance and all the arts.
Generally, my administration will support the arts without regard to my opinion of them. I don’t like rap music, but I see that some people do. I don’t enjoy ballet, other people love it. I’ll support both rap and ballet, despite my distaste for both.
But when I say generally, smart Blurt readers (as if there were another kind) realize that there is at least one exception to my support of the arts. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s a quiet day, so I’m doing some extra writing. This one’s in response to a prompt on The Daily Post suggesting writing the answers to the ten questions James Lipton asks all his guests on Inside The Actor’s Studio.
If you write and don’t subscribe to The Daily Post, you should fix that.
After James Lipton’s introduction, I’d walk onto the set wearing jeans, my Brooks Robinson jersey and tennis shoes. I’d smile, wave, have a drink of water, wave again and sit down as the applause died down. “I don’t know why I had to have water there, does applause usually make people thirsty?” James would laugh heartily, then begin his interview…
“Omawarisan, you’ve been a pizza maker, a church grounds keeper, an usher in a sports arena, a police officer and a hostage negotiator. What brings you to The Actor’s Studio?” Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve recently noticed that the Do Not Disturb signs in hotels almost always have the same message on both sides. The old signs, with a message on one side to the housekeeper that the room was ready for cleaning, are rare.
While this isn’t a change that’ll end the world, I feel somewhat responsible for the fact that it became necessary. I regret my part in causing it.
Yes, I flip other people’s “Do Not Disturb” signs to the “Please Make Up This Room” side.
It started when I was a kid. I’d noticed the sign in a hotel room my family shared. On the way to check out, I flipped my first sign. What could be funnier than some person having a hotel housekeeper walk in on them sleeping? I didn’t know, so I picked a door and changed its “do not disturb” to “make up this room right away.” It was an impulsive, childish thing to do.
Once we were on the road, I told my parents what I’d done. Perhaps it seems odd that I did that. There was some logic in my decision to tell on myself.
I think, as a rule, funny stuff isn’t funny unless you share it. I shared with my mom and dad. They did not see the humor in what I’d done. There are exceptions to every rule. Read the rest of this entry »
I remember Jennifer Aniston from the TV show, Friends. I’m certain I’m in the minority on this, but I think that show was funny for about two years, then it jumped the shark and just dragged on forever.
Ms. Aniston has done well since the show ended. She’s been in a lot of movies. I haven’t seen them, but they are out there if I find the need to change that. She seems to get enough work that she probably doesn’t have trouble paying her rent. She could be called a success for those reasons.
But those who sent her to walk among us consider her a success for a different reason. She’s kept their secret.
Jennifer Aniston is not from Earth. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m back from vacation. Hope you’re all still here.
I had a great time seeing almost all the people who are on my kidney list. I saw and did so much, including having a few adventures I’ve dreamed of for a long time.
I’m back and I’m happily tired. So I’m slowly restarting the writing machine with a rambling discussion of an incomplete thought.
There was a good bit of driving and time alone on my trip. Alone time in the car provided me with a chance to sing and not have anyone ask me things like “do you know more than one note?”*
I took time between songs to solve the world’s problems and think about writing. Read the rest of this entry »