How To Know When You’re About To Make A Mistake
Posted: August 20, 2012 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: bad choices, humor, life, mistake, postaweek, tattoo 35 Comments »We all make mistakes. Perhaps opening with a throwaway cliché is a mistake. If it is, I’ve proven the thesis in my first sentence. Sadly, it is too soon to stop writing.
Mistake. (Image by MesserWoland via Wikimedia)
Yes, everyone makes mistakes. You, me, them, everybody does it.
Most of us learn from our mistakes. Some learn from the mistakes of others. Some learn nothing from their mistakes; their lives are a series of successive disasters. If you pay attention, you can learn a lot from folks who never get smarter from their own errors.
Certain mistakes are hard to miss. Though I am not gifted with the power to see into the future, I can spot some of those mistakes before they happen. The problem is, I usually can’t stop people from making these unfortunate choices. Poor choices are just so…tempting.
As a public service, I’m going to lay out two elements that are usually good, until they’re combined. Together, they are a sign of an impending mistake. Read the rest of this entry »
Five Routine Minutes: That Road Heads North Too
Posted: September 7, 2011 Filed under: Five Minutes, Foolishness | Tags: bad choices, chaplain, comedy, drawing, humor, maryland, postaweek2011, religion, souls 52 Comments »On Monday night I got to watch the football team from my beloved University of Maryland open the season with a win. As I watched the game, the prominence of the Maryland state flag on the team’s (hideous) new uniforms reminded me of an incident several years ago. It happened far from my home state, far from campus…in my office in North Carolina.
The organization I work for has always had chaplains on staff. My section was assigned a new chaplain. I was working at my desk and heard him come in and start introducing himself to everyone as he passed them. I got up from my desk as he got to me. Things were pretty standard at first.
I don't know why his wife had to be there. I wasn't going to question him about it if she didn't show.
I shook hands with them both and we did the small talk thing. Then Reverend Bob said something completely off the wall. Read the rest of this entry »
Lessons Learned On Vacation: Sometimes It’s What You Don’t See
Posted: July 8, 2011 Filed under: bad ideas | Tags: accidents, amputation, bad choices, bad ideas, Butcher, food, humor, outer banks, postaweek2011, restaurant, Restaurants and Bars, television, tourism, travel, vacation 40 Comments »
It was so rainy, the tourist infomercial channel seemed like a good idea (Image via Wikipedia)
Sometimes it is the little things that matter. Appearances aren’t the most important thing, but sometimes they make a difference. Attention to detail can be critical.
I had a little rainy day time to kill on vacation and was watching one of those cable channels that exists to draw tourists to restaurants and attractions in the area. There was a show on about restaurants. The best way I can describe the show is that it was a series of five-minute infomercials about places to eat.
One of the ads featured what seemed to be a very nice establishment. The ad started with an interview with the owner, who gushed about his menu and his staff. A little feature on the head waitress was next, followed by the owner talking about how good it was that he had his own butcher on staff at the restaurant.
Lefty, Come Out And Say Hello To Everyone
The butcher seemed like a nice old guy. He said he had been working for the restaurant for over twenty years. The video portion of the interview switched to some shots of Mr. Butcher at work, cutting and aging steaks while the audio talked about how having an in-house butcher benefitted the dining experience. The segment ended with a shot of the butcher holding up a freshly cut steak for the viewer to see. Read the rest of this entry »
Irony, With Mustard and Kraut
Posted: June 18, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: American Heart Association, bad choices, bad ideas, charity, comedy, food, heart disease, hot dog, humor, irony, postaweek2011 41 Comments »I wrote about this event over a year ago, but today I ran across it again and thought it needed to be documented further. Today was the second annual Hot Dog Sale to benefit the American Heart Association.
The cured meats have always been friends of the heart, haven’t they?
The Hot Dog Sale For Heart Disease
Yes, Hot Dogs for Heart Disease. Someone thought that was a good idea. Twice. Someone failed to see the irony in this. Twice. Read the rest of this entry »
Keep Your Distance From My Client’s Luggage
Posted: June 6, 2011 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: bad choices, bad ideas, Bodyguard, celebrities, comedy, current events, George Bush Intercontinental Airport, Houston, humor, labelle assault video, luggage, music, Patti LaBelle, postaweek2011, video, you tube 44 Comments »
She's alive? I wouldn't have bet on it (Image via Wikipedia)
I saw on the news this weekend that singer Patti LaBelle stands accused of ordering her bodyguards to attack a man who got too close to her luggage at the Houston, Texas airport. I’ve done some thinking about what I’ve read, and I’m going to take today’s post to speak directly to Ms. LaBelle about the predicament she finds herself in.
Ms. LaBelle, my name is Omawarisan. I know that you’re in a tough spot vis-à-vis your legal situation. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I can help you. I am experienced in designing defenses for people in tight spots. You may recall my advocacy on behalf of flight attendant Steven Slater…or maybe you don’t. Whichever is the case, I stand prepared to help you out of your situation with a defense that no “lawyer” can or will put on in your behalf.
Let’s start with a review of your situation as it is reported.
This Does Not Look Good For You
Ma’am, according to my source, you’re accused of having your bodyguards attack a man you felt was standing too close to your luggage. This does not look good for you. Most people don’t have anyone they can direct to administer beatings for heinous acts like people being proximate to their luggage. Perhaps that is a common thing for people with bodyguards to do. The thing is, there aren’t going to be a lot of people on the jury who have bodyguards. Read the rest of this entry »
The Artificial Tongue and Dr. Strangelove
Posted: April 22, 2011 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: artificial tongue, asimo, bad choices, bad ideas, celebrities, cnn, current events, Dr. Strangelove, einstein, humor, medical research, miscellaneous, movies, observations, Peter Sellers, postaweek2011, random, Robot, Robotics, robots, technology, tongue, transplant, video, women, you tube 30 Comments »
He didn't need an artificial tongue, why do you? (Image via Wikipedia)
It has been reported that a man made device has been developed that can “taste” the level of sweetness in food. One of the things the developers of this wonder are touting it as is an early step toward the development of a fully artificial tongue.
The artificial tongue idea has me thinking in so many directions. I am, of course, very concerned.
The Accidental Discovery Of Upper Case Schwa
Posted: March 28, 2011 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: aggressive driver, bad choices, bad ideas, Capital letter, catholic school, comedy, corporal punishment, driving, humor, Lower case, nuns, observations, photos, postaweek2011, proofreading, rednecks, Schwa, truck 51 Comments »
I think that guy in the background is a spy (Image by Smithsonian Institution via Flickr)
On Friday, I went through the lot of the local post office to drop something in the mail. That’s the sort of extravagant thing I do. I will spend forty-four cents to have someone bring something to someone else. I think the recipients are impressed by the gesture.
As I was driving out from making my grand gesture, I passed a white pick up truck. The owner had put lettering across the front to spell out the word MOVE in upper case letters. The word was spelled backward so as to be easily readable in the rear view mirror of cars in front of the truck. Read the rest of this entry »
Dude, please.
Posted: February 28, 2011 Filed under: bad ideas | Tags: bad choices, bad ideas, clothing, fashion, humor, life, miscellaneous, observations, random, wrestler, wrestling, wrestling singlet, wtf 43 Comments »
A disturbing simulation that I created to show you what I saw. Copyright, me.
Today, on my way to get my morning bagel, I saw a guy walking down the street with one of those greco roman wrestling things on. Read the rest of this entry »
People that have blurted back