I’m Sorry. You Were Right. I Was.
Posted: April 30, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: aging, Colonoscopy, colonoscopy prep, comedy, humor, postaweek 27 Comments »Lots of people say it. They’ll say it to my face. I’ve gotten it at work, I’ve heard it at home. My friends have told me.
I’ve denied it. Without exception, every time they’ve said it, I have said it isn’t true. Perhaps I knew it was so. Maybe I just didn’t want to believe it could be true. I denied it. I ignored the pressure within; the pressure that told me it was true.
Perhaps it’s just that it sounds harsh. Even when people laugh while they’re saying it, even when the context is friendly, it sounds harsh. I didn’t want that. It’d be awful if it were true, so it couldn’t be. Read the rest of this entry »
Canada Geese Spread Their Fowl Ways
Posted: April 29, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: Canada Goose, comedy, conspiracy, conspiracy theories, humor, Mallard, postaweek 28 Comments »I’ve written of Canada’s big joke on the United States – sending their geese across our border. More recently, I documented an incident where I nearly hit a mallard duck with my car.
A couple of jerks (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Those two topics don’t seem terribly related. If you listed the common elements in those two stories you’d come up with:
- feathers
- webbed feet
- me
Now some of you read that list and see nothing special, no significant relationship. Others read it and see all the elements of a great Saturday night. If you’re in that second group, call me.
After an experience I had the other day, I see the connection between these two blog posts. I’ve uncovered something awful, and I’m not just talking about my writing. Read the rest of this entry »
The Wolf Finds The Sheepdog
Posted: April 26, 2013 Filed under: Getting older | Tags: addiction, aging, life, non fiction, police, policing, postaweek, Sheepdog, wolf 19 Comments »
(Photo credit: Wikipedia public domain)
The Wolf was a block and a half away when I turned toward the coffee shop. There’s a sunny spot on the street where I see him on cool mornings. That’s where he was, sitting on his walker, soaking up a little extra warmth.
I make a point of not driving up to him in a police car when I spot him. Back in the day, me pulling up in a police car was often the start of a bad evening for at least one of us. It just works out better now to let him come around on his own.
When I walked out of the shop with my hot chocolate (with blackberry syrup, trust me on this one) he was out near the driveway. “Good morning, Sarge, God bless you.” I returned the blessing and he turned back toward the street.
I walked toward him. As I got close I spoke quietly – “coming up behind you.” He laughed and asked why I didn’t warn him like that twenty years ago. “You know damned well why I didn’t” I said. He grinned and admitted that he did. Read the rest of this entry »
Five Routine Minutes: An Owl’s Job
Posted: April 24, 2013 Filed under: Five Minutes | Tags: art, comedy, drawings, humor, Humour, Owl, postaweek 27 Comments »An owl keeps hanging around outside my window.
Mentos Lessons: The Car Movers
Posted: April 22, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: Bruce Springsteen, comedy, humor, Mentos, mentos ads, parallel parking, postaweek, television 20 Comments »
A number of different Mentos flavors (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
We can all agree that when something needs to be made fresh, Mentos should be involved. Of course, if we can’t all agree, I can always use the power of those mints to convince any foolish naysayers.
I am a fan of the old Mentos commercials, the ones that showed how resourceful people who ate that candy could be. Mentos consumers were not only minty fresh, but capable of creatively resolving any situation while winning their tormentor’s admiration.
This is the first of a series of occasional posts I’ll be writing to discuss the lessons of, and the complete spectacularness of the old Mentos ads. Today’s lesson will be on the classic ad, The Car Movers.
Let’s watch: Read the rest of this entry »
Where The Wild Things Are – The Freight Elevator
Posted: April 17, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: Elevator, Elevators and Escalators, humor, life, postaweek, where the wild things are 26 Comments »Today, I was hesitant to get on an elevator at work.
Three please. (Photo credit: dieselducy CC BY-SA 3.0)
There’s not much I hesitate to do at work. Wearing body armor and various weapons does tend to make one more bold. But today, I got a little tentative in our headquarters building.
So There I Was, Minding My Own Business
Fifty percent of good stories start with someone minding their own business. All the rest start with someone sitting in a bar. I was at work, so I was minding my own business.
I slipped in to the building through a secondary door and hit the up button to call the freight elevator. The freight is my preferred ride because it is faster than the main elevators, and the big bosses rarely use it. The car came up from the basement. The doors rattled, then opened. I stood there, looking at him. Read the rest of this entry »
We All Need Space, Especially Al.
Posted: April 16, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: comedy, humor, nicknames, postaweek, spaces, Vehicle registration plate, writing 30 Comments »Long ago, I realized that for men named Lou, the only possible nickname is Big Lou. Big and Lou just fit together. They bring a certain toughness and a particular image when they are combined. Lou is just a guy. Big Lou is someone you don’t fool with. Lou has a few friends. Big Lou, he has people, if you know what I’m saying. Read the rest of this entry »
People that have blurted back