Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.


So, Brian Williams of NBC forgot to remember that he was never in a military helicopter in Iraq that was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade. That poor man. There’s probably so many things that he mis-remembers.

I wrote a post at Long Awkward Pause where you and everyone can post encounters you think maybe you might mis-remember having with Brian Williams.

Isn’t he the guy that somehow messes up your sandwich at Subway even though you’re standing there watching him? Come on over and share the false truth about this pillar of journalistic integrity.

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Bert, lending Brian Williams some credibility. (image via

Anchorman. It’s a job title that implies a measure of stability and reliability.

It implies reliability, but in the game that now passes for broadcast journalism in the United States, we can no longer count on that being the case on any channel. Time after time, network after network, we find that the people who we count on to bring us truth are only loosely acquainted with it.

In the latest instance, NBC anchor Brian Williams has admitted that he “made a mistake” about the facts surrounding a helicopter ride he took with members of the US military. On more than one occasion since 2003, when the incident Williams has described didn’t occur, he has described how the helicopter he was in was hit by rocket-propelled grenades and forced down in the desert.

Not surprisingly, when you misremember enough on…

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Good Stories Don’t Start With Someone Having A Salad

Every fall, I catch up with a group of my closest friends. We travel to Florida together to stimulate that state’s economy by hanging around in bars and filling up bartender’s tip jars. No, Florida, you don’t have to thank us. We do it because it is the right thing to do.

Well, we do it for a lot of other reasons too, but that’s what I’m hanging my hat on for now.

Like Many Stories, This One Doesn’t Start With Me Having A Salad

A little over four months ago, we were at it again. It was late in our week away from home, we were enjoying a band and having a good time. One of our group tossed out the question “why do we keep coming to this warm place, listening to this music and drinking beer?”. The question brought a flurry of sarcastic answers like “I don’t know, I think I’m going to fly out early” and “I’m not coming next year”.

Delicious, but not an inspiration, yet.(image by jeffreyw CCbySA 2.0

And then came the answer that stuck to me like honey mustard dressing does to the front of my shirt – “Because good stories don’t start with someone having a salad”.

I will admit that most of the stories involving this group of friends begin with us going out for drinks and end with someone doing something like wandering the halls of a hotel clad in a leopard print robe*. But I was certain that somewhere, maybe in another group of friends, there had to be a story that began with someone enjoying salad. Read the rest of this entry »

Charlie Brown, M.D.

Last weekend, my wife’s mom took a nasty spill on some ice. This reinforces my position that ice is nothing but trouble when we let it exist outside of a cup or cooler.

Ice, where it belongs. (image by nattu CCbySA2.0)

Anyhow, the nasty spill led to a broken leg. The break led to an ambulance ride, which led to hospitalization and ultimately, surgery.

The day before the surgery, my mother in law was visited in the hospital by one of the physicians on staff. We’ll call that doctor, Doctor B.

After the surgery, Doctor B’s partner, Doctor A, came by to check on her. Because she’d been seen by so many doctors, when Doctor A spoke of his “associate who saw her yesterday”, she didn’t know which physician he was talking about. Doctor A settled the question by describing his associate:

“He’s a middle-aged guy, balding, with a big moon face. He looks like Charlie Brown.”

It happened that I was in the hospital room when Doctor A gave that description of his partner. I had a laugh and put the matter out of my mind – until the next day. Read the rest of this entry »

Commemorating My Parents’ Anniversary

It has been a busy week around the Omawarisan home. We’ve been dealing with a hospitalized relative. That’s left us short on play time and me without much of a chance to write.

But it has also been an important week; my folks celebrated their fifty-fourth anniversary the other day. So, to let you know I’m still here and to celebrate my parents, I’m pointing you toward two pieces I wrote some time back.

My Mom Versus Reverend Moon tells the story of how the Moonies tried to recruit me into their cult during my freshman year at college. I’m still not certain that my mom was not involved in the Reverend’s demise.

You Don’t Become A Baseball Player By Putting On A Uniform relates some sage advice I got from my dad back when I played Little League Baseball. We both remember the story slightly differently. In the end, life validated his advice…as usual.

I’ll have fresh stuff written for next week.

Congrats Mom and Dad, and thank you!

I’m Insulted, And I’m Not Even Irish

I enjoy cooking. I’ve done a lot more of it recently; my retirement gave me the time I needed to expand the sorts of dishes that I’ll take on. Taking on new dishes requires a lot of trips to the supermarket for ingredients.

(image, public domain)

My love for food and cooking gave me the chance to see something so odd that I was able to expand my ability to be offended. Yes, I was offended on behalf of a nation and an ethnic group that I am not affiliated with in any way.

Irish folks, on behalf of the rest of us, I’m sorry for what I’m about to show you. Read the rest of this entry »

What You Need To Know About Memory Foam Mattresses

So you’re thinking about buying a memory foam mattress. Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’m here to tell you everything you need to know to help you decide if one of these mattresses are right for you.

The Wine Glass

Most importantly, the thing about a glass of wine not spilling if you jump on the mattress is true. To be truthful about this, I must tell you that I haven’t bounced on my mattress. Like many of you, I have a ceiling fan that precludes that sort of thing. But I put a bottle of water* on the bed and slammed the mattress really hard with both arms; the water did not spill.

Not likely to spill. (image public domain)

If you have water, wine, motor oil, or any other liquid in a container next to you on a memory foam mattress it will stand there, nice and steady for you. Don’t be deceived by that. If you bump your glass of wine (or motor oil) with your elbow, it will tip over and spill. Memory foam can not suspend the laws of physics. Read the rest of this entry »

Why Do We Say That Someone “Let The Cat Out Of The Bag”?

A wise old man once told me that two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. He didn’t live that long after that. Because of that, I’m a little on edge letting you in on his secret for keeping a confidence. I’d be more concerned about it if I wasn’t pretty sure that smoking had a lot more to do with his demise than telling secrets.

If two living people have a secret and one of them reveals the secret we often say that person “let the cat out of the bag”. Let’s explore why we might say that.

Don’t Get Caught Holding That Bag

Unless the secret is “I have a cat in this bag, don’t tell anyone”, we can say with confidence that the bag and cat situation is a metaphor for telling a secret.  It is an unfortunate metaphor that, I imagine, came from someone who’d been involved in such a despicable act.

Putting a cat in a bag is cruel and wrong. I’d suppose that getting the cat’s co-operation isn’t easy; someone who’d do such a thing deserves whatever damage their cat might inflict while they’re putting it in to a bag. But the image of a frustrated and confused feline rocketing out of that bag pretty accurately represents the energy of being shocked by a big secret being told. Read the rest of this entry »


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