I’m Insulted, And I’m Not Even Irish

I enjoy cooking. I’ve done a lot more of it recently; my retirement gave me the time I needed to expand the sorts of dishes that I’ll take on. Taking on new dishes requires a lot of trips to the supermarket for ingredients.

(image, public domain)

My love for food and cooking gave me the chance to see something so odd that I was able to expand my ability to be offended. Yes, I was offended on behalf of a nation and an ethnic group that I am not affiliated with in any way.

Irish folks, on behalf of the rest of us, I’m sorry for what I’m about to show you. Read the rest of this entry »


What You Need To Know About Memory Foam Mattresses

So you’re thinking about buying a memory foam mattress. Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’m here to tell you everything you need to know to help you decide if one of these mattresses are right for you.

The Wine Glass

Most importantly, the thing about a glass of wine not spilling if you jump on the mattress is true. To be truthful about this, I must tell you that I haven’t bounced on my mattress. Like many of you, I have a ceiling fan that precludes that sort of thing. But I put a bottle of water* on the bed and slammed the mattress really hard with both arms; the water did not spill.

Not likely to spill. (image public domain)

If you have water, wine, motor oil, or any other liquid in a container next to you on a memory foam mattress it will stand there, nice and steady for you. Don’t be deceived by that. If you bump your glass of wine (or motor oil) with your elbow, it will tip over and spill. Memory foam can not suspend the laws of physics. Read the rest of this entry »


Why Do We Say That Someone “Let The Cat Out Of The Bag”?

A wise old man once told me that two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. He didn’t live that long after that. Because of that, I’m a little on edge letting you in on his secret for keeping a confidence. I’d be more concerned about it if I wasn’t pretty sure that smoking had a lot more to do with his demise than telling secrets.

If two living people have a secret and one of them reveals the secret we often say that person “let the cat out of the bag”. Let’s explore why we might say that.

Don’t Get Caught Holding That Bag

Unless the secret is “I have a cat in this bag, don’t tell anyone”, we can say with confidence that the bag and cat situation is a metaphor for telling a secret.  It is an unfortunate metaphor that, I imagine, came from someone who’d been involved in such a despicable act.

Putting a cat in a bag is cruel and wrong. I’d suppose that getting the cat’s co-operation isn’t easy; someone who’d do such a thing deserves whatever damage their cat might inflict while they’re putting it in to a bag. But the image of a frustrated and confused feline rocketing out of that bag pretty accurately represents the energy of being shocked by a big secret being told. Read the rest of this entry »


Your Nana Called. She Wants Lysol.

Yesterday my phone rang; that’s the kind of thing it does. I didn’t recognize the number the person was calling from, so I didn’t answer it; that’s the kind of thing I do.

(image by Bnilsen CCbySA2.0)

The caller left a message; that’s not the kind of thing that telemarketers or people who’ve mis-dialed do. Concerned, I listened to the message:

Pee Wee, this is Nana. Do you hear me? OK, I don’t know when you’re coming, but bring me some Lysol when you come.

There was a long pause, then a voice in the background asked Nana if “he” (presumably Pee Wee) was saying anything. Nana told her he was not and then she hung up.

I’m Not Most Folks

Most folks would get a chuckle out of this message and let it pass without a second thought. I am not most folks.

For the record, not only am I not most folks, I am also not Nana’s Pee Wee.  I am no one’s Pee Wee. I’ve never been called Pee Wee and take a measure of pride in that fact. At my age, I certainly have no intention of adding Pee Wee to the list of approved nicknames for me and I don’t have a Nana. Read the rest of this entry »


Karma’s Website

Another writer’s description of being touched by karma (no, really, it touched her) got me to thinking about that doctrine of Buddhism.

Karma is a law of moral causation. According to it, what we do affects our current and future existence. People pretty much get what’s coming to them based on their behavior.

I reflected upon what I’d read and about the meaning of karma. I considered my life and the positive and negative consequences that have developed from the choices I made. Visions of ways I’ve seen karma affect others ran through my mind.

Yeah, I’m deep that way.

So, I was Eating An English Muffin And Thinking…

English muffins. Mmmmmm. (image by Tanznia CCbySA3.0)

I kept thinking. Thinking of how the story I’d read was a reminder to the author that karma would put things right if she’d relax and let it happen. Thinking of the times when I’ve seen people do evil or do good and nearly instantly find their lives appropriately affected. Thinking of the times when I’ve seen people do evil or do good and silently hoped that, eventually, they’d get what was coming to them.

There’s something satisfying about karma. It’s not very Buddhist of us to think this way, but we like seeing folks reap what they sow. That is part of our nature. We want karma to work instantly. It often doesn’t. That’s frustrating. Read the rest of this entry »


My Soap Opera

I’ve never been a soap opera fan. There might be a reason for that.

Perhaps I don’t like them because my nap time fell during my mother’s favorite shows when I was a kid. Even toddler me found it a strange coincidence that my biological for a nap started just before Days Of Our Lives started and ended when the credits rolled on The Doctors. Or it could be that I am no more the target audience for soaps now than when I was a tot.

God, I hated nap time (image public domain)

Every Girl Crazy ‘Bout A Sharp Dressed Man

When I go to the gym in the afternoon, I can count on a few things being on the array of televisions in front of the elliptical machines – a cop show, the Kardashians, news, ESPN, and a soap opera. I always exercise in front of the television showing the sports channel but, from the corner of my eye, I can’t help seeing what’s going on in the soaps.

In the past few weeks, out of the soap opera corner of my eye, I’ve seen: Read the rest of this entry »


What I Learned From New Year’s Eve

For a long time, I didn’t do New Year’s Eve. I was either working or had to be at the office by 5 a.m. on New Year’s Day.

I was on call too. Remember Y2K? So do I. I was expected in the office early on January 1, but was on call overnight for four additional assignments that I had in case the dreaded Y2K bug hit and the world came to a stop. My employer called four times, once for each extra job, to wake me and tell me I was no longer on call but was still expected at 5 a.m..

Times Have Changed

Y’know this looks like no fun. Where do they all pee? (image by Rob Boudon, CCbySA2.0)

I don’t have a long, positive history with New Year’s Eve. But now things are different. I don’t have an office to show up at on January 1; I can stay up late and I’m not on call for anything at all.

This year, my wife and I waited to see the ball drop in Times Square with good friends in their living room. It was a great time and a learning experience. Read the rest of this entry »


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