An Open Letter To AARP

Dear AARP,

I appreciate that you look out for my interests. I don’t have the time to travel to Washington as often as I’d like. When I do get there, I’m not interested in soiling my reputation by being seen with elected officials. I’ll happily pay my dues to have you lobby on my behalf.

Yeah, I get a free one. Why? Because I’m an AARP member. (image public domain)

That’s not all that you do for me. I get good deals on donuts when I get together with my old man friends every morning. And when I travel, I get a break on hotel costs. You offer me insurance and I get a magazine every month. It almost seems like a one-sided deal that is in my favor. If you’re OK with that, so am I. Read the rest of this entry »


I’m Sick Of Frozen

You know what? Enough is enough. Though I have not seen (and will not ever see) the movie Frozen, I am officially sick of it.

As best I can tell from the blizzard of crap for sale in stores, the movie has three characters. There is a blonde girl who smirks a lot, a red-haired girl who seems secondary to the blonde girl and a snow man who looks like a demented pile of soft-serve ice cream. They live somewhere cold, because, well, Frozen, right? Of course it is frozen; soft-serve ice cream can’t just walk around on a magical island near the equator, can it? Read the rest of this entry »


I Predict The Winners Of The 2015 Academy Awards

When my friends think about glitz and Hollywood, they think about me.

Because of that, they’ll be excited to learn that I am giving all the little people the benefit of my knowledge of film, acting and the stars. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after you read this, you’ll know exactly who will win the Oscars and can spend your evening doing something productive. You’re welcome.

…and the Oscar goes to… (image by toughpigs via muppetwikia)

Let’s get started, shall we?

Oh, by the way, I haven’t seen any of these flicks. No, not even one. Read the rest of this entry »


A Discussion Of Chinese Breakfast Food

Yesterday morning, while I was in the refrigerator trying to spot what I was going to have for breakfast, my eyes fell upon some leftover Chinese food.

I’d guess that some of you don’t like the idea of eating Chinese food for breakfast. But I’d point out to you that pancake suppers are a common fundraiser and a fun change of pace for a lot of families. And who among us hasn’t had cold pizza to start their day?

Wonton soup. It’s what’s for breakfast. ( image by AlejandroLinaresGarcia CCbySA3.0)

So I enjoyed half of a large order of wonton soup and a few pan-fried dumplings for breakfast. They were absolutely delicious. If you haven’t had Chinese food in the morning, you are missing out on a treat. Read the rest of this entry »


Goal Setting And The Food Network

I am a simple man. That isn’t meant to say that I’m not bright; I maintain an extensive list of people who are willing to say that about me. Please get in touch if you are interested becoming part of the list.

The point of the simple man statement is to say that it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I don’t want fancy things. I live in jeans, t-shirts, baseball caps and tennis shoes. My beloved Miata is fifteen years old. I’m quiet. If I’ve got music playing, something to write about and an English muffin with peanut butter, I’m content.

Simple, Not Dead

Chipmunk. It’s what’s for dinner. (image public domain)

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals. Even a simple guy like me needs direction, something he is shooting for. I have that.

Despite my thing for English muffins with peanut butter, I love good food. I enjoy cooking, learning recipes and cooking techniques. I will binge watch cooking shows with the idea that somehow I will learn something from watching a trained chef create something out of ingredients that I never knew existed or that repulse me.

And while I occasionally pick up an idea from watching an Iron Chef whip up a couple of plates of chipmunk filet accompanied by hazelnut smoked asparagus with a raspberry and fig foam, what I’ve mostly gotten from cooking shows are goals. Read the rest of this entry »


Good Stories Don’t Start With Someone Having A Salad

Every fall, I catch up with a group of my closest friends. We travel to Florida together to stimulate that state’s economy by hanging around in bars and filling up bartender’s tip jars. No, Florida, you don’t have to thank us. We do it because it is the right thing to do.

Well, we do it for a lot of other reasons too, but that’s what I’m hanging my hat on for now.

Like Many Stories, This One Doesn’t Start With Me Having A Salad

A little over four months ago, we were at it again. It was late in our week away from home, we were enjoying a band and having a good time. One of our group tossed out the question “why do we keep coming to this warm place, listening to this music and drinking beer?”. The question brought a flurry of sarcastic answers like “I don’t know, I think I’m going to fly out early” and “I’m not coming next year”.

Delicious, but not an inspiration, yet.(image by jeffreyw CCbySA 2.0

And then came the answer that stuck to me like honey mustard dressing does to the front of my shirt – “Because good stories don’t start with someone having a salad”.

I will admit that most of the stories involving this group of friends begin with us going out for drinks and end with someone doing something like wandering the halls of a hotel clad in a leopard print robe*. But I was certain that somewhere, maybe in another group of friends, there had to be a story that began with someone enjoying salad. Read the rest of this entry »


Charlie Brown, M.D.

Last weekend, my wife’s mom took a nasty spill on some ice. This reinforces my position that ice is nothing but trouble when we let it exist outside of a cup or cooler.

Ice, where it belongs. (image by nattu CCbySA2.0)

Anyhow, the nasty spill led to a broken leg. The break led to an ambulance ride, which led to hospitalization and ultimately, surgery.

The day before the surgery, my mother in law was visited in the hospital by one of the physicians on staff. We’ll call that doctor, Doctor B.

After the surgery, Doctor B’s partner, Doctor A, came by to check on her. Because she’d been seen by so many doctors, when Doctor A spoke of his “associate who saw her yesterday”, she didn’t know which physician he was talking about. Doctor A settled the question by describing his associate:

“He’s a middle-aged guy, balding, with a big moon face. He looks like Charlie Brown.”

It happened that I was in the hospital room when Doctor A gave that description of his partner. I had a laugh and put the matter out of my mind – until the next day. Read the rest of this entry »


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