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Fifty Is The New Twenty

I did a little travel last week. Time away from home with the most important people in my life is good for my soul. I love driving and seeing the countryside go by. But I learned something too.

What Sauvignon Blanc looks like before it goes to the store. (image by Agne27, CCby SA 3.0)

I recognized that being in my fifties has its privileges and burdens. That’s not so different than any other age. So, in the way that so many have declared so many things the new something else, I am declaring that fifty is the new twenty.

There came a time in the trip where a bottle of wine was just what an unremarkable hotel room needed. I stopped by a grocery, grabbed a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and headed for the check out lanes. The self check out scanner line was short. I scanned the bottle, the price came up on the screen, followed by a prompt to show my identification to the cashier.

Now, I think I already established that I’m a bit older. No one is going to mistake me for a twenty-one year old. I understand the liability issues that force stores to confirm that every one who buys a bottle of wine is over twenty-one; I just happen to believe there is room for common sense in that confirmation process. Read the rest of this entry »

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A Guy Walks In To A Bar

Don’t start anything in here (image by Querren, CCbySA3.0)

I’m a guy. In fact, I’m a guy who has been known to walk in to a bar.

A guy walks in to a bar. He is carrying jumper cables. The bartender says “hey man, don’t start anything in here.”

“A guy walks in to a bar” is the start of so many good jokes. The guy walks in and the joke lies in his interaction with the bartender. When the guy in the joke changes into a group of stereotypical characters or even an animal, walking in to a bar is still what makes the magic happen.

Ebola walks into a bar. Bartender says “we don’t serve infections viruses in here”. Ebola says “you’re a lousy host”. Read the rest of this entry »


Where Is The On Ramp To The Yellow Brick Road?

omawarisan:

I just heard that The Wizard Of Oz premiered 75 years ago today. That’s one more year in the books for my streak…

Originally posted on Blurt:

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

You can't plant him in your penthouse, he's going back to his plough (Image via Wikipedia)

We call songs that are a part of any serious music collection standards. Films that everyone should see are classics.

These classics and standards not only entertain us, they provide common language reference points for us. We refer to lyrics, movie lines, or even entire scenes in casual conversation. They become part of the repertoire of dialogue that we use without thought and interpret without effort.

But what happens if a person hasn’t really seen or heard one of these icons? How are they affected?

I can tell you from personal experience.

I’ve never seen The Wizard Of Oz.

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The Greatest Tattoo, Ever

omawarisan:

So today’s post is written as if I was telling you this while we were having a beer. Significantly, it is the true tale of something that happened while I was having a beer.

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Field Of Dreams is one of my favorite movies. And one of the greatest lines in the movie is delivered by Dr. Archibald Graham – “You know, we just don’t recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they’re happening.” I’ve found that Moonlight Graham was right; I often miss the significance of the big moments of my life as I’m in them.

But that’s not always true. Sometimes I know those big times when they happen. This is about one of those times. But to describe the greatness of that moment, to share with you what I was able to photograph, I have to go on a tangent.

Let’s talk about Herve Villechaize.

Yes, That Herve Villechaize

Herve Villechaize (public domain)

Herve Villechaize was an actor who happened to be a dwarf. You might remember him from his role as the henchman named Nick Nack in the James…

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Profiting From The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

omawarisan:

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Foolishness for a good reason. But behind the scenes, a some folks are laughing all the way to bank.

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is sweeping the internet and bringing in a ton of cash to help eradicate that disease. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is a degenerative and fatal nerve disease that is better known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.

The challenge, involving people choosing to dump a bucket of ice water over their heads or donate some cash to support ALS research, has nearly quadrupled donations to the ALS Association. It is hard to argue with the good that the challenge is doing in both raising awareness of the condition and backing research toward a cure.

But ALS charities and sufferers are not the only beneficiaries of this silliness. Some are riding the gravy train of this trend all the way to the bank. I tapped my vast Nudge/Wink Report expense account and went after one of these nouveau riche millionaires to get the full story.

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A Superhero Uniform Redesign

I woke last night after a dream brought me to a revelation. A revelation so important that I took a moment to make a note so I wouldn’t forget the details.

The standard superhero uniform is due for a redesign.

Status Quo In Superhero Fashion

The superhero uniform is designed to stand out, be practical and identifiable. It accomplishes those goals, with varying levels of success.

Can’t we do better than this? (public domain)

Seeing someone in tights, boots, a cape and panties makes them stand out in a crowd. Standing out is important when taking on a career as a super crime fighter. The visibility and attention provided by the “tights and panties” mode of dress tends to prevent crimes by alerting evil types that they’ll surely be caught if they get out of line.

Practicality is the weak spot of the current hero dress code. Boots are a smart choice; you never know where you’re going to have to walk when you’re protecting innocent citizens. Tights make heroes hard to grab during a fight, but are prone to snagging and they lack pockets. And whatever gains are made by tights being hard to grab are lost by the cape. Capes provide a grip point and are a hassle in tight spaces or any time the superhero isn’t facing into the wind. Read the rest of this entry »


Growing Pains

Maybe soon I will be (image via Icanhazcheezeburger.com)

Some time ago…well, I’m 52 so…a very long time ago, I used to gripe to my mother about being in pain. I didn’t have a good reason for it, but my arm or my leg hurt. Mom just dismissed my complaints as growing pains.

Growing pains were a very appealing explanation to eight year old me. I wanted to grow, but it was hard to know when I actually was growing. I wanted results. We tried the marks on the door frame thing to track my increasing height. Unfortunately, when we moved to a new town those marks didn’t move with us. That made those growing pains the only readily available (if inaccurate) sign I had that I was growing.

As I got older, I still had parts that hurt. I could connect those pains with injuries – I’d fallen off a bike, twisted something when I was horse-playing with friends. When I worked in policing I could remember why things were sore. My shoulder was sore from helping carry a 450 lb man down some stairs. My hip was tender after being hit by a thrown television. A lot of things were sore when I was hit by a car. Read the rest of this entry »


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