Driving on the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is a brutal ordeal, one that shouldn’t be undertaken by the faint of heart. The weird mix of aggressive, sleep deprived drivers, truckers, and people who seem to be behind the wheel for the first time in their lives makes driving any distance dangerous and no fun. Only New Years Eve is a worse time to drive.
The road took its toll on me. Tired, hungry and needing to off-load the ocean of diet soda I’d finished, I pulled off the interstate and into a truck stop. Read the rest of this entry »
The other day, I walked past a house for sale. The owner was selling their home without using an agent. They had a sign in the yard with the asking price of the house, a phone number to call and a familiar phrase -
Serious offers only
I thought about how ridiculous that phrase is. Making an offer to buy this, or any, house that was not serious would be pointless. It wouldn’t occur to me to call these people and say “I’ll buy your house for an i-Tunes card, a five-pound bag of Idaho potatoes, a crocheted hat, and either of the two backpacks I have in my closet.” Read the rest of this entry »
This week, President Obama pardoned a turkey.
This isn't an Obama thing. U.S. presidents of both ilks have run the same lame publicity stunt for years.
How many years? Some say the tradition started during the Kennedy administration. The Kennedy administration was a long time ago. Most people were what I like to call "not born yet" when JFK first used the power of his office to pardon a turkey.
A sigh is just a sigh, or so the song says.
I beg to differ.
A few nights ago, someone asked me if a pizza I was eating was as good as another I'd had recently. I couldn't answer. It wasn't because one was so much better than the other. It was more because they were two different dishes with the same name.
Last serving of leftovers!
In this final part of the trilogy, I am invited to Thanksgiving dinner by the cranberry sauce making girlfriend that I did not kill.
Young me was a quiet, respectful guy. I never talked myself into a bad spot. And then there was that Thanksgiving. Love, death, cranberries and an inexplicable verbal outburst combined. The result was me learning what “time to leave” looked like.
The final portion of this trilogy, first published last year – Everyone Loved Dorcas.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
I continue my re-run of three posts relating to my college girlfriend with an incident that happened after the whole nasty business with nearly killing her.
Today’s reading is from 2010. It was the first of this trilogy that I wrote, but it fits in the second position in the series and foreshadows the third piece that I didn’t have a plan to write at the time.
It covers my dislike of asparagus and my inability to grasp the fact that a person could make their own cranberry sauce if they wanted to. No, the combination of the near death incident and this cranberry matter did not cause this woman to toss me aside.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Cranberry Sauce, A Recipe For Disaster.
Busy week this week for me. Yes, I know, it’s a busy week for a lot of people. I’m the one who’s here though and I’ve got a bunch happening plus original pieces due on Saturday for the other sites I write for – Long Awkward Pause and The Nudge Wink Report.
To help me get through the week, I’m re-running a series of true stories tied together by the innocent protagonist in all three pieces – the young woman I dated in college.
I wrote the three stories out of sequence. The story I’m giving you today was the first one to occur, but I wrote it second – in 2011. I’m not sure why you’d need to know that. Perhaps there will be a quiz later.
Please enjoy The Story of That Girl, The One I Almost Killed – a completely non-violent tale of love and (near) death.
PS…this would also be a good time to subscribe to Long Awkward Pause and Nudge/Wink.
There are lessons we all learn as a kid. A few years later, we forget them. We all learn that when someone teases us, the most effective tactic is to ignore the taunting. The apparent indifference causes those hassling us to move on to another target.
How soon we forget.
Crossing The Line
In the United States, the Christmas holiday shopping season has been traditionally defined as starting the day after the Thanksgiving holiday. Thanksgiving was a solid line that no one crossed. There were no Christmas holiday sales on the Wednesday before, but there were discounts galore on the Friday following.
And then retailers started toying with their hours on the Friday after Thanksgiving, moving their opening times to 8 a.m., then 6…and then earlier. There were special discounts available, if you were one of the adventurous souls who were there when the doors opened. People didn’t ignore the tease, they bought into it…and they bought like mad.
Recently, stores have crossed that once solid line. They’ve started opening on Thanksgiving with “unbeatable offers”. Some of us have responded in that uniquely American way – whining about how sad it is that the holiday has been violated as we drive to the stores. Read the rest of this entry »