Five Routine Minutes: The Martin Luther Technique
Posted: May 20, 2013 Filed under: Five Minutes | Tags: art, humor, Martin Luther, Microwave, office, postaweek, rants 9 Comments »Last week, the microwave oven in my office died. It was replaced by a toaster. As you may recall, I found the toaster inadequate an appliance for heating up soup.
I returned to work on Sunday. I was certain that, days after the microwave went into the big sleep, a new machine would be in place. After all, I work for an agency with a huge budget. This kind of expenditure was nothing in the grand scheme of things. At lunch time I went into the break room. There was a microwave on the counter. The old one.
Five Routine Minutes: What Does Replace Mean?
Posted: May 17, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: art, break room, drawing, humor, Microwave, postaweek, Toaster, work 22 Comments »Most days I bring my lunch to work. I’ve usually got some leftovers in my lunch bag. A quick spin in the office microwave and I’m in business.
There’s always something good on the break room TV. A few weeks ago, we watched some guy who was trying to understand why some lions attacked him. I thought the buckets of raw meat he was carrying were a bigger factor than the “experts” seemed to. Last Friday, we watched some bumpkins wrestling catfish in muddy water. That show made the catfish look like sympathetic characters.
Happy Birthday, L. Frank Baum
Posted: May 15, 2013 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: Disc golf, humor, L Frank Baum, L. Frank Baum birthday may 15, Wizard of Oz 13 Comments »
I wonder why they don’t show her hands? (Photo credit: Wikipedia, public domain)
I was reminded earlier today that it was L. Frank Baum’s birthday. If he had survived whatever killed him, and everything that would have followed that, he would have been 157 today.
That is Mrs. L. Frank Baum pictured to your right.
- She looks just like this guy I know at work.
- That collar wasn’t in fashion when the photo was taken; it just hides her Adam’s apple better.
- Dude looks like a lady.
- Wouldn’t want to sit behind her in a theater.
- Ma’am, they’re going to need those shoulder pads back before football season.
- “That’s not your mother, it’s a man, baby”.
Sorry, I just had to get those out of my system. Let’s get back on topic. Read the rest of this entry »
My Graduation Speech
Posted: May 14, 2013 Filed under: Getting older | Tags: college graduation, Darius Rucker, graduation, high school graduation, humor, life, postaweek, thoughts 27 Comments »It is college graduation season. On a local radio news show, they mentioned some speakers who were giving graduates their send off speech. Traditionally, politicians would have littered any list of graduation speakers. The list I heard was trending away from the political realm. Among the speakers mentioned were a retired NFL kicker and Darius Rucker, the singer from the band Hootie and the Blowfish.
Darius Rucker (Photo credit: Wikipedia, public domain)
I like Rucker. He comes across as a personable guy and he co-wrote “Only Wanna Be With You.” He and Hootie also recorded an absolutely wicked version of the Bill Withers hit “Use Me.” I would invite Darius to speak based solely on how hard he rocked “Use Me.”
But the bigger news is that if singers and NFL kickers have wrested control of the graduation speaker market from politicians, it is only a matter of time until obscure bloggers are holding forth before graduates. Once obscure bloggers get their chance, it is a short drop to me. Read the rest of this entry »
Matisse’s Mom Might Disagree
Posted: May 11, 2013 Filed under: Getting older | Tags: Antiques Roadshow, art, family, Henri Matisse, humor, mothers day, Pablo Picasso 18 Comments »It seemed to me that I ought to write something for Mothers Day, but that wasn’t going so well.
I took a break from being frustrated and remembered, mid-break, that I ought to call my Mom and let her know when I would stop by for a Mother’s Day visit. We talked about our days, and then she remembered that she had something she wanted to talk to me about.
On the way in to where she’d left herself a note, she asked if I’d ever seen Antiques Roadshow. I told her I had, but not today. “Someone was on with what looked like pencil drawings, but they were done by Picasso and …oh here’s my note…Picasso and Matisse. You know about them, right?” Read the rest of this entry »
Five Routine Minutes: A Cauliflower Sheep
Posted: May 9, 2013 Filed under: Five Minutes | Tags: Cauliflower, comedy, food, humor, postaweek, Sheep 38 Comments »I help teach a class designed to help police officers have more effective interactions with people who are dealing with mental illnesses. My work in that class is something I really enjoy. I’m proud of the team I work with to put the training on. C.I.T. class weeks are my favorite work weeks.
People from the community bring food in for the students to snack on. It is a nice little extra treat for everyone.
A Guy Who Looks Half Horse Half Man
Posted: May 6, 2013 Filed under: short story | Tags: centaur, fiction, half horse half man, humor, postaweek, short story 16 Comments »So there I was, minding my own business, because that’s how things happen. Something did happen, in this case, the arrival of this guy that looked like one of those mythological half horse/half men guys. He looked just like one of those – he had a big head and one of those scraggly chin kind of beards, but no horse body.
I’m pretty sure that he was at least descended from that kind of guy. I’ll get back to him soon. First, I’m going on a short tangent. Read the rest of this entry »
Art Criticism: An Articulate Lion
Posted: May 2, 2013 Filed under: Art Criticism | Tags: art, Art criticism, comedy, humor, Lion, painting, postaweek, tokyo ska paradise orchestra 23 Comments »We all know the lion as “The King Of The Jungle”. The lions might have trademarked that phrase because none of the other animals seem to challenge the issue. Trademark or not, we accept it because we’ve heard it again and again. I’ve always thought it was a pretentious title.
Besides, the jungle holds more than one lion, but there can be only one king. The fact that there are so many “kings” probably contributes to the jungle being a poorly organized place.
And all lions get the “King Of The Jungle” title. It doesn’t matter if it applies to them or not. A lion who lives in a zoo is likely the king of his enclosure, but it would be hard for that cat to argue he has any influence over jungle affairs. It hardly seems fair that a kept lion bears the same title as a working lion.
Today’s art critique has nothing to do with jungle monarchy. It delves into the realm of animal art because it is a painting of a lion. Read the rest of this entry »
People that have blurted back