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Get An Expert Opinion on Malaysia Airlines 370

As an expert, I approve of this pilot’s take off technique. (image by air icarus CC by SA 2.0)

The other day, a friend pointed out how foolish the 24 hour news networks look trotting out “experts” to give their opinions on the fate of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. I agree. As far as I can tell, the only thing sketchier than the theories that are being tossed around are the qualifications of those deemed experts.

I know you’re all hungry for information about where flight 370 is, but you don’t have access to an expert. I’m here for you.

Yes, it’s true. Starting now, I will be giving my expert answers all your questions concerning the missing Malaysia Airlines flight. Any questions about Malaysia 370, aviation, air traffic control or my qualifications and experience in the field are fair game.

Ask your questions in the comment section below.

Don’t forget to check back for your answer.

Feel free to ask a follow-up question if you see the need.

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33 Comments on “Get An Expert Opinion on Malaysia Airlines 370”

  1. regalmo says:

    Reblogged this on nwminnesotamo and commented:
    As usual, Oma’s take on this is SPOT on!

  2. Such a valid point you make. I do have a question actually… How the HELLO does an airplane DISAPPEAR!?

    I’ll save you the hassle of answering. It doesn’t. That’s crazy talk.

    All I’m saying…and I posted this on my blog recently – If you do not believe in conspiracy theories – you have to at least consider aliens.

    I’m looking forward to stopping back and reading your expertise. :)

    • omawarisan says:

      Hi, thanks for your question and welcome to Blurt.

      As an expert, all my points are valid. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy my points being validated by bright people like you. Thank you.

      Your point regarding alien conspiracy is a concern. Whenever I think about aliens, I think about Larry King. Think about it, big triangular head, giant wrinkly forehead, narrow set eyes. He looks just like the drawings you always see of aliens. I’m fairly sure he is one.

      Once his show went off the air, you’d still see him now and again, but then he got quiet. And now this plane just disappears. Has anyone heard from Larry King since this happened? No.

      Until the space alien Larry King is accounted for, we have to keep the idea that UFOs are somehow involved in this matter.

  3. xacrest says:

    Oma, as a Malaysian, all I can say is that I wish we were on the news for something else. Bright side, I can stop referring to my country of origin as ‘that peninsula between Thailand and Singapore’ and just use ‘we lost a plane’.
    But here’s my question: why on earth would anybody want to steal a plane from Malaysia Airlines, of all companies and countries?

    • omawarisan says:

      XA!! Glad you’re still here. Thanks for your question.

      I do have to point out that even though you now have the plane reference, you are still from that peninsula between Thailand and Singapore. That’s a good thing, and I appreciate your ability to find the good in this sad tale.

      As you know, all the world’s news radiates from the United States. The further you are from New York, the less people care about what happens. If you have any doubt about this, let me point out that I am an expert. But if you want to validate, just ask any American you happen to see.

      There are few places as far from New York as “that peninsula”. So, if you’re going to steal a giant plane and want people not to notice, Malaysia Airline is the best place to start. In this case, someone had loose lips and this whole big thing developed. My advice to you is that if you are looking to steal an airliner, going home is not your best bet right now.

  4. omawarisan says:

    I was just asked via text message about my air traffic control expertise.

    First, I have had air traffic control explained to me during a work related seminar in the early 2000’s. It was a well rounded education that lasted upward of forty-five minutes. It was an hour if you count the break that immediately followed. Also, whenever I fly I always sit close to the windows in the terminal so that I can observe what’s going on.

    Most importantly, I used to juggle with a guy who was an air traffic controller. He was probably the best juggler I’ve ever met. One time, he said something about work.

  5. Me again.

    I just want to add that this is my most favorite post of the day.

    And, I have 2 more questions…What is your expert opinion on the guys with the stolen passports?

    Also, more importantly, when is this all going to blow up in someones face? I just can not sit here with the rest of trained society and actually believe that it’s just gone. As a whole, we are trained to nod our heads and go, “uh huh…okay.” In my (not) expert (at all) opinion – someone actively “researching” knows something.

    Warning: I might be back later. You got my gears goin’.

    • omawarisan says:

      Let me address your last question first. It is inevitable that someone is going to get jammed up on this. Experts like me (and face it, you’re easily the equal of me and anyone cnn is asking) have noted that outside the US, they handle things differently.

      Here, stuff goes down (no pun intended) and maybe some peon gets locked up. The CEO is cool though. He shows up at a press conference, the lawyers pay up and the CEO skates.

      There will be a rich Malaysian dude in cuffs before this is done.

      Regarding the guys who stole passports, well that’s just wrong. Stealing is universally prohibited in all cultures.

      I don’t think they had anything to do with the plane disappearing. Passports are easy to steal. They fit in your carry on. Boeing does not make anything you can pocket.

  6. Will you be consulting with Courtney Love as apparently she has become an expert as well?

  7. lbwoodgate says:

    Just one question. Are gremlins involved?

  8. Becca Joyce says:

    It said in the news here in New Zealand that the pilot once visited Auckland on holiday (for real – that was an actual news item). Could he have ‘accidentally’ ‘forgotten’ ‘something’?

    • omawarisan says:

      That is possible. As we saw in Italy, some men like to divert for personal reasons. I think what you’re asking is if the pilot Schettino’ed. Yeah could be.

  9. Do you believe in having complimentary drink service on commuter flights? Please explain your opinion. And would you ask for Coke or Pepsi? Answer carefully.

    • omawarisan says:

      I believe in complimentary drink service. For example, I want the flight attendant to give me my beverage and say “most men your age are not as dashing”. I would have liked the pilots of this flight to have gotten a drink and a comment like “I appreciate how you’re flying this plane right to China.

      I am a Pepsi guy. I think it is a little sweeter.

  10. Is it possible that when flight attendants warn that items in the overhead compartments may shift during flight, that they are in fact referring to some sort of time/space shift and not just Samsonite sliding around? If small carry-on luggage items are able to shift in a time/space continuum, isn’t it feasible that the rest of the plane could do so as well? Now my actual question: If my premise is a possibility (and I AM an expert, after all), then wouldn’t it have been the flight attendant’s duty to explain worm holes and time travel right after the pre-flight seat belt demonstration and before the oxygen mask instructions?

    • omawarisan says:

      You are an expert. So you know that all travelers recognize that time shifting is what makes planes fly. How else could you get on a plane in winter weather and fly to summer-ish weather?

      Since everyone knows that, flight attendants just do their safety dance and don’t discuss the physics of flight.

      I will not rest until everyone calls that safety demonstration the safety dance.

  11. knace says:

    Do you think it’s possible the Malaysian flight could have been taken down by a Mega Shark? Have our worst evolutionary fears been realized? Do I need to be very afraid?

    • omawarisan says:

      It is possible. As we’ve seen, fish have been training for this sort of thing. However, the Pacific Leaping Mega Shark is best suited to lower speed aircraft like helicopters.

      You don’t need to be afraid. Even now, airlines are routing their flights that used to go across oceans up over the North Pole to avoid shark attacks.

  12. Eva says:

    Hello and thanks for your answers in advance.

    Do you believe aliens are jerks? The UFO kind?

    • omawarisan says:

      I thought about putting up an answer immediately after this post went up. It would have said, “you’re welcome, Eva” because it was my opinion that you’d be grateful for my answers.

      I decide I would look like a jerk, so I waited. Speaking of jerks, aliens are not jerks. Larry King is a jerk who is an alien, but they all shouldn’t suffer because of him.

      If aliens are involved in this jet situation, we will see the plane land in about a week. We know that aliens kidnap people to probe them, if you know what I’m saying. Probing hundreds of people takes time.

      If aliens are involved, profilers think that they will be an ambitious, over achieving group if extra terrestrials who may have over extended themselves in grabbing hundreds at a time.

  13. We Found Him Captain! says:

    I heard a rumor that the plane is at the Earl Shieb Paint shop in Hong Kong, being repainted for $29.95 and is going to reappear at Newark Airport in time for the Christmas rush as a Jet Blue plane. It will be used for non stop $99 flights from Newark to Belize. Have you heard about this? Is it True?.?.?

    • omawarisan says:

      No.

      You’ve seen Newark. If $99 flights to Belize were flown out of there, the city would be empty. Who would stay?

      Do you know how much the paint on a plane weighs and how much cheaper it’s to fly one without all that weight?

      What the hell am I asking you for?

      Anyhow, I know and it is a lot.

      • We Found Him Captain! says:

        So! I’ve been to Belize…… It’s another Hoboken…..without Gumma Z,L’s anywhere around
        plus it’s the only place other than Hoboken where you can go into the local 3 Bruudda’s
        And find a T-shirt with a picture of a youngish looking Nat King Cole screaming out
        “Dy-No-Mite”!!! for just 99 cents. I’m jus sayin!!

  14. Betty says:

    Has anyone else heard the rumor that there were 20 Chinese scientists on board and they are now in Iran?

    • omawarisan says:

      I have not heard that. That would be very mad scientist of Iran to do that. I don’t think that is what happened because Iran doesn’t have a volcano that is shaped like a mad scientist to keep them in pending their inevitable rescue by a secret agent.

      Have you heard this joke? –

      Twenty scientists walk into a bar and order beers.
      The bartender says that’s funny, we don’t get many Chinese in here.

  15. spencercourt says:

    What about the theory that the Romulans have cloaked the plane, landed it at a secret site, and are retrofitting it for use in an invasion?

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen. They didn’t have enough fuel to get to Rome.

      But I suppose if the secret location wasn’t in Rome it might. Italy and Indonesia are always beefing about something.


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