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My Mother The Killer Clown

If you call someone a clown you usually don’t mean it in the literal sense. When I call someone a clown, sometimes I mean it literally. My parents were clowns.

Growing up as the son of clowns had its share of challenges. I did quite a bit of writing about what it was like to go through the high school years with parents who wore red noses. But I’m not here to tell you about those old days. This is about something more sinister.

And by sinister, I suppose that I mean odd.

I Haven’t Told This Story In Years

And this is odd because had I dinner and drinks with friends two nights ago. Ok, that’s not odd, I do that sort of thing frequently. But odd because after dinner I told the story of how The Unification Church tried to recruit me while I was in college. Yes, the Moonies took a swing at bringing me in to their flock.

Prison. My mother has never been, yet. (image public domain wikimedia)

As you might imagine, my parents weren’t happy about The Moonies taking their best shot at me. Even clowns don’t smile about cults recruiting their kids. So, when Reverend Moon died I wrote a tongue-in-cheek post about my suspicion that my mom did him in.

Now, I’m nearly one hundred percent certain that my mother isn’t likely to have been involved in the death of Sun Myung Moon. She’s been on her best behavior ever since the time when I was in second grade and the police questioned her about the untimely death of a another gentleman.

Clouds of suspicion have surrounded the saint that is my mother, but she’s clearly been innocent. The police decided that she wasn’t a suspect in the demise of that gentleman who died when I was a kid. And regarding Reverend Moon, she did have the motive to hunt him down but never took the opportunity to do it.

She’s Innocent, But This Was A Little Disturbing

But just yesterday, something odd happened. I can’t call it new evidence because it is completely fictional. Let’s just call it a sign, shall we?

I was doing things around the house. The television was on a police show that I wasn’t paying attention to. I walked past the screen as one of the detectives displayed an artists sketch of the suspect they were after.

killer clown

That’s almost exactly what my mother looked like as a clown. Thinking I was seeing things, I texted this shot to my brother with the comment “look at who the suspect is on this cop show”. He saw the resemblance without any other prompt.

It’s a reach to implicate my mother as a killer clown because of  a cheesy TV show. But of all the clowns that they could have drawn for this scene, why would they draw my mom? But is it a sign that someone should re-open some cases?

It’s probably an odd co-incidence. Odd, sinister co-incidence.

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16 Comments on “My Mother The Killer Clown”

  1. So if the rest of us are afraid of clowns, what were you afraid of growing up?

  2. suejansons says:

    Sounds like an episode of The Twilight Zone! Do do do do, do do do do.

  3. Eva says:

    Yikes… and I don’t like clowns… but I’m sure you’re mom is adorable.

  4. As the proud owner of gigantic feet, I have to do my shoe shopping at the local clown supply store. The parking lot usually has one little car in it, but the place is packed. I assume they all came in the car, but some of them might take the bus.

  5. Blogdramedy says:

    You know what detectives say. Follow the evidence.
    You’ve either cracked the case or uncovered your Mom’s secret life.
    I don’t know which.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Well, you know your mom best. That’s remarkable that you saw your mom on TV. Watch out for slugs. Those creep me out, too!

  7. It would be so fun if your mother started her own blog…..Really fun.

  8. susielindau says:

    She has a doppelganger…

  9. The one thing that would give life more meaning if you’re raised by a couple of clowns would be having a clown car to go with them. Did you have one?

  10. That’s an awfully big coincidence…

  11. pegoleg says:

    Wasn’t Son of Clown a serial killer?

  12. Hmmm…perhaps your Mother’s habitual act of always being a suspect influenced your decision to become a crime fighter. A boy will always protect his Mommy and you would have been in position if she needed you.


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