My Mother The Killer ClownPosted: March 10, 2014
If you call someone a clown you usually don’t mean it in the literal sense. When I call someone a clown, sometimes I mean it literally. My parents were clowns.
Growing up as the son of clowns had its share of challenges. I did quite a bit of writing about what it was like to go through the high school years with parents who wore red noses. But I’m not here to tell you about those old days. This is about something more sinister.
And by sinister, I suppose that I mean odd.
I Haven’t Told This Story In Years
And this is odd because had I dinner and drinks with friends two nights ago. Ok, that’s not odd, I do that sort of thing frequently. But odd because after dinner I told the story of how The Unification Church tried to recruit me while I was in college. Yes, the Moonies took a swing at bringing me in to their flock.
As you might imagine, my parents weren’t happy about The Moonies taking their best shot at me. Even clowns don’t smile about cults recruiting their kids. So, when Reverend Moon died I wrote a tongue-in-cheek post about my suspicion that my mom did him in.
Now, I’m nearly one hundred percent certain that my mother isn’t likely to have been involved in the death of Sun Myung Moon. She’s been on her best behavior ever since the time when I was in second grade and the police questioned her about the untimely death of a another gentleman.
Clouds of suspicion have surrounded the saint that is my mother, but she’s clearly been innocent. The police decided that she wasn’t a suspect in the demise of that gentleman who died when I was a kid. And regarding Reverend Moon, she did have the motive to hunt him down but never took the opportunity to do it.
She’s Innocent, But This Was A Little Disturbing
But just yesterday, something odd happened. I can’t call it new evidence because it is completely fictional. Let’s just call it a sign, shall we?
I was doing things around the house. The television was on a police show that I wasn’t paying attention to. I walked past the screen as one of the detectives displayed an artists sketch of the suspect they were after.
That’s almost exactly what my mother looked like as a clown. Thinking I was seeing things, I texted this shot to my brother with the comment “look at who the suspect is on this cop show”. He saw the resemblance without any other prompt.
It’s a reach to implicate my mother as a killer clown because of a cheesy TV show. But of all the clowns that they could have drawn for this scene, why would they draw my mom? But is it a sign that someone should re-open some cases?
It’s probably an odd co-incidence. Odd, sinister co-incidence.