Airport pizzaPosted: June 24, 2013
When I was in high school, I had an English teacher who insisted it was always wrong to write using absolute terms like always or never.
It seemed strange to me that a person could have an absolute rule against absolutes. Besides, if we were not meant to use always and never, why were those words in the language?
Mr. Arthur Is Always Partly Right
Mr. Arthur could never answer why the words existed, but always red-penned my papers when I used them. I don’t write for Mr. Arthur anymore, so I use the forbidden words.
Anything can disappoint. Some things that I’ve looked forward to have been let downs.
True to Mr. Arthur’s lesson, I’ve found that I can’t expect that something, or someone, will never go beyond my expectation. I’ve enjoyed surprises from sources of constant disappointment.
I’m not ready to let my English teacher off the hook. In fact, I’m going to tell you that Mr. Arthur was never right about absolutes. I will always say he was wrong because the existence of one absolute proves him absolutely wrong.
Mr. Arthur Is Always Partly Wrong
Without reservation, I can tell you that I have never had a good slice of pizza in an airport. I’ve tried to find tasty airport pizza for years. I always find misery on crust in air terminal food courts.
Tried. Trying is my problem. I always try. That is what optimists like me do. It usually pays off long-term. You had to know I thought that, I’m an optimist. While I was traveling last week, I tried again.
Just like every other time, my pizza letdown started with an extended layover between flights. I roamed the concourse. Hungry. Foraging. Assessing my options…the Mexican place looked good. I could have had a beer while I was there. There was a gourmet burger restaurant too. I love burgers. A well dressed burger contains all the food groups.
But I love pizza. My inner optimist knows that and spoke up. “There’s pizza back there. How bad could it be? It’s pizza!” I tried to fight back, but The Optimist is a smooth talker. Just like every other time The Optimist has had its say, I gave in. I was not surprised.
Airport Pizza Proves It, Over And Over
The pizza was as awful as it has been 100% of the times I’ve bought it in an airport. I’ve earned the right to never be surprised by this. I never exercise that right.
It seems that if a body took the notion, they could make a fortune in an airport selling pizza that was simply passable. A great pie would net that body the gross national product of a small nation, every day.
Nah. That could never happen. No one is ever getting that done. Airport pizza will always be a terrible experience.
And it will always be wrong to absolutely prohibit absolute terms.