I Am SuingPosted: March 13, 2013
Last week, someone hit my car. She barely hit it, but hit it she did. We were at a red traffic light. The first few cars in line moved when the light turned green. The car in front of mine did not and the car behind mine did.
No one was hurt. The paint was chipped on my bumper, but there was no structural damage to either car. The woman who bumped into me was very nice. I really hope her husband did not give her the hard time she was expecting. They call these events accidents for a reason.
Yes, she was very nice. She was nice, I’m not hurt, and her insurance is getting my car fixed. I am suing her brains out.
I am going to sue her and take every penny from her and every one of her ancestors. Am I suing her because the body shop sends me gory photos of my car, like this one?
I’m sorry you had to see that.
No, that isn’t why I’m going to take all her money. I suppose getting something like this in an email would be reason enough for most. But the horror of this is nothing compared to the rental car I have to drive while Dr. Frankenstein reassembles the Omawari-car.
A Dodge Charger. They gave me a Dodge Charger. Not a cool 1969 Charger. One of those ugly new ones.
You all know I have a lot of words. I have no words to describe how miserable I think this car is and how much I hate driving it. The only good thing on the Charger is the tires.
So, I am suing this very nice lady that barely tapped my car, causing the paint to wrinkle on the bumper only, because I have to drive this car that is crushing my soul. Yes, my car has 5 m.p.h. bumpers, but my soul is being totaled by the mere presence of this Charger in my life. I want it gone.
Please, Dr. Frankenstein, I’ve got to have my car back today, so I can sue her.