Policies of My Administration: Mannanafnanefnd
Posted: January 7, 2013 Filed under: The policies of my administration | Tags: bad baby names, comedy, humor, Iceland, Icelandic Naming Committee, news, postaweek 24 Comments »I love Iceland.
Iceland, if you’re reading this, call me, maybe?
You don’t want any of this guy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I’ve never been to Iceland, but I like the people and the country anyhow. There were Vikings in Iceland. That should raise the nation to the top of anyone’s list.
But Vikings are not the only great thing about Iceland. The country has volcanoes and glaciers. Hawaii shows off its volcanoes. Iceland dismisses Hawaii by pointing to its volcano with a glacier on top of it. Imagine a country that has so many natural wonders it has to stack them up. What you just saw in your mind’s eye is Iceland.
I’m not here to write about natural wonders, I’m here to add another common sense policy that will come in when my administration and I take over running the world. When I take over, I’m going to institute something that Iceland has.
My administration will have a Mannanafnanefnd.
Mannanafnanefnd. Gesundheit.
Have you ever met an Icelander with a stupid name? Of course not. There are no Icelanders named Blue Ivy, Apple, Track or S. Epatha Merkerson because Iceland has the Mannanafnanefnd.
Mannanafnanefnd is the Icelandic Naming Committee. The committee ensures that Icelanders have names that:
- Have letters that are in the Icelandic alphabet (Iceland has their own alphabet. Another reason to love them)
- Are grammatically proper
- Will not cause the named person embarrassment
- Match the gender of the person named.
And check their coat of arms! A bull, an eagle, a dragon and that guy. Does your coat of arms have that? No. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Because of the committee’s work, the top three male names in Iceland are Jón, Sigurður, and Guðmundur. For women, the top three are Guðrún, Anna and Sigríður. All those names are very cool. Anyone who says otherwise is itching for a Viking axe battle.
Oh and if you’re wondering, I think Mannanafnanefnd is a spectacular word. I will be retaining its services for my administration’s naming committee, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Khloe.
Modifying Mannanafnanefnd
As much as I love Iceland, I know the naming committee as it stands won’t work everywhere. Most people don’t know Icelandic grammar or the alphabet. Hardly anyone knows how to say Guðmundur or Sigríður. That is why I will have a naming committee in every country.
A committee in every country will account for cultural and linguistic differences while preventing parents from burdening their children with “creative” names. It’ll also create jobs and streamline the name checking process.
Thanks for a great idea, Iceland. I’m going to have a feasibility study done on stacking natural wonders. I think that is your second best idea.
Elska þig, Iceland. Hringdu í mig, kannski.
If I had to appear before your naming committee, I’d be afraid I might accidentally break out into this song.
Oh, that is so totally going to be in my head all day. My colleagues are going to want to have a talk with you. Can they call you, maybe?
That video is upsetting. Why are they keeping the man down?
Auggh! I mean, wow, Hippie, you’re really good at revenge.
Augh, back at you! True story: that song was in my head when I woke up this morning! Manamana…doodoodododo!.
It seems that you’ve done a bit of research for this post.
I’d be interested to know if you stumbled across anything suggesting that Volkswagen might have outsourced its marketing work to Iceland to come up with Fahrvergnügen.
Now that you’ve brought this to light, Kim and Kanye should consider outsourcing their baby naming rights to Iceland. Blar Begonia has a nice ring to it.
I’d like to outsource them both
I woke up a few nights ago in the middle of the night and had this whirling around in my brain, “Am I really a Ross? What does Ross mean to me? Should I have been called something else?”
… it’s a funny thing your name… you live with it all your life, but I guess it takes a lifetime to really know what it means.
I’m glad I wasn’t called rhubarb though.
and does Ross mean to the outside world what it means to you?
Look what you’ve done, Rhubarb.
I have relatives who lived in Iceland and learned the language. I’ll have to forward this to them.
From what I can tell, that had to be a heck of an undertaking.
Having suffered all my life with a common name like Debbie, I’m not totally sure I’d like having everybody in my country sharing the same six names! That said, I do like the idea of stacking natural wonders. And that coat of arms is way awesome!
Oh no, there is a pretty big list. I think you’d be safe. I looked at the list and couldn’t find anything that appeared Debbie-like. Would you consider being Droplaug?
Hmm… Should I consult the committee with our impending daughter’s name? I was fascinated.with Viking names for boys and Irish names for girls. No one wants to burden a kid with something ridiculous… Do they?
Oh, a lot of people do.
Nah, I’m giving you a pass. I won’t have the committee set up in time, and I’ve got faith in Bethany.
As a bonus, this blog will almost certainly get you a hit in Iceland, which will help fill out your world map in the stats section. What?! You ALREADY had a reader in Iceland?! You mean I’m the only one who hasn’t had a reader there yet? I’m so embarrassed.
I did, but it was only because I wrote about the volcano under the glacier before. Vikings are loyal subscribers.
If I was on the committee, I would break out in this song . . .
Len, Len, bo-benny
Bananarama, fo-benny
Fee-fie-mo-benny
Lenny!
Or, Lynny, whichever you want
In Iceland, the Omawarison’s last name would be Omawarisanson.
I think that’s only right, don’t you? He’s got the whole nordic look thing going on anyhow.
Will your administration rename Mt. St. Helens Eyjafjallajökull II?
They have the same in France. Did you know the Mayor of Reykjavik (the capital of Iceland) won’t allow anyone into his government who is not a fan of the TV show the Wore and they have to answer a trivia quiz to prove it!
Anything that protects us from silly names has to be a good thing. Iceland’s lovely, by the way. If you ever get a chance to go, do it.