Hi, Welcome To The End Of The World.Posted: December 21, 2012
Hi, welcome to the end of the world. I hope you’re enjoying it so far.
Just as I’ve done during many of the other ends of the world, I will go to work. The only end of the world that I recall not being scheduled to work was the big one we called Y2K.
I was on standby for Y2K. The plan was for me to get some rest in case my services were needed for the apocalypse. In the event someone took hostages as the world was ending I would be contacted via my ultra modern text pager. As things turned out, there was not a need for post-apocalyptic crisis negotiation. My bosses had encouraged me to rest so I’d be ready. When they decided that I would not be brought in to save lives that would be later snuffed out as the world completed its destruction, they paged me three times to let me know I could go back to sleep.
For this end of the world, I am not involved in any sort of special plan. I’ll report to my usual duty station and be in position to handle all end of the world related matters that occur within my assigned area. After my 8 hour shift is over, I will head home and deal with the destruction there.
I’ve decided that as I find damage related to the end of the planet I will not repair it. It just seems futile to do that. The best course of action seems to be to observe the damage to satisfy my own curiosity. At the end of the world, curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. No, this cat’s curiosity has landed on its feet during all prior scheduled apocalypses.
The one thing I know about the end of the world is that it is date driven. It always is. So, since this apocalypse is starting on December 21 and that date dawns from east to west across the globe just like all others, some of my subscribers will have already experienced the end of the world by the time I publish this. If this post is reaching you after the end of the world, I am sorry. I’ve appreciated your willingness to read my ramblings.
My thanks also extend to those of you who are reading this before it really hits the fan. If you have a moment during the end of the world, please report on how the apocalypse is treating you. Is it the end of the world where you are? What’re you up to? What are you seeing? Were you able to see the end of the world coming from the east? Feel free to come back throughout the end of the world to update your experiences.
Buh-bye. Y’all enjoy.
P.S. Elvis Costello will still be cool after the world ends.