Reviewing Christmas Policy
Posted: November 30, 2012 Filed under: The policies of my administration | Tags: christmas lights, comedy, humor, Light pollution, postaweek 26 Comments »
Christmas lights. A responsibility, not a right. (public domain, wikipedia)
The march toward my administration goes on. I have my policy writing staff working on new rules that address the matters other ruling bodies have been afraid to take on.
This seems like a good time to review an important policy.
With the first weekend of December upon us, many of our neighbors will begin preparing their outdoor lighting displays. Many of them will be fun to see. Others will be inspiring. A few will be dreadful.
Even though I have not completed my take over as the Incognito Ruler Of The World, it is appropriate for you to enforce my policies. There is no better, no easier time to take the law into your own hands than now. Address those dreadful displays.
Review my administration’s policy on Christmas decoration and remember, there were three wise men, not five.
Did I vote for you? Was there a vote? Never mind. Perhaps originally there ere only three wise men. But I would definitely vote you in as the fourth! Thank you for your policy paper on outdoor decorations. Very responsible and wise!
Vote? No I’m taking control as Incognito Ruler Of The World.
Thanks for your support!
My neighbors had Christmas lights up the Friday night following Thanksgiving. Bad neighbors. They were supposed to be out shopping. Why don’t they love America?
Holidays are a very, very big deal where I live. I postulate that it’s correlated to the quality of the locale. So…
People who were not out shopping hate freedom.
I remember that post, not only because of its brilliance, but because in the reply section, you said The Funniest Thing You Have Ever Said (that I’m privvy to).
I added that parenthetical part because
A. I wanted to use the word ‘privvy’; and
2. I wanted to flaut the convention of not ending a sentence with a preposition; and
Finally. I wanted to use the word ‘flaut.’
Thank you. (And, seriously, I was just remembering that comment the other day and laughed out loud once again).
.. . or “flout” . Darn le Francais.
You say flaut, we say flout. We say tomayto, you say tomahto…
Good review. I’m glad you gave us the opportunity to revisit these necessary and valid policies. I shall strictly enforce them in my neighbourhood. All offenders will be sent directly to you.
Thank you. I hope you don’t have to, but I’m glad youre committed to the policy.
One of my neighbors is already violating your policy. They’ve got a manger scene just a few yards from Santa and his sleigh. Shall I send them to you for disciplining?!
Yes. Or you can go over and mock them.
Okay, I can’t have two Santas, but can I have Santa and Santa’s Evil Twin?
Yes, provided the evil twin is indicated by the white portions of Santa’s suit being replaced by black.
I’m not overly concerned about my neighbors and decorations. They are slackers like myself. My decorations for my outdoor porch are still lying on the table indoors. I finally put my Halloween decorations away yesterday.
So you have the good kind of neighbors?
Any outdoor decoration featuring Garfield should have its cable cut…
Agreed. The creator of that cartoon is another person who has become tremendously wealthy by being not funny
You got my vote (even if you’ve seized power illegally).
I’m just taking the job I’m supposed to have.
Or something like that.
I had forgotten your rules. Thank you for the refresher. After nearly two decades of BAH HUMBUG, I’ve already lined my deck with white lights and baked two batches of cookies. Tomorrow my creative/decorator friend will come over to decorate my tree and home. Normally I can’t stomach more than two weeks of decor. It’s the end of the world as we know it.
Well I’m glad that your return to decorating is in good taste. Glad, not surprised.
How do you find someone to handle that stuff for you?
She enjoys doing it and actually volunteered when she heard I was debating whether to even put up a tree.
As I was scouring the internet for unique Christmas decorating ideas, such as synchronizing holiday lighting to “Gangnum Style” (which apparently is not very unique after viewing several hundred such synchronizations on YouTube) I stumbled on your blog. The interesting thing is that for years this very issue has been a thorn in my side ! I have had numerous discussions with neighbors concerning usage and placement of said decorations. I wholeheartedly agree with your administration’s position. For your consideration……The Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing “Up On the Housetop.” Point made.
Welcome to blurt! I am happy that you feel comfortable enforcing this common sense policy on your neighbors. If they insist on handling their decor irresponsibly, they have to be confronted.
Thank you for the welcome ! I will remain vigilant this holiday season, to be sure. I wish you would expound on inflatables……I have a sharp pin !