Dear Cherie Berry
Posted: October 19, 2012 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: Billy Joel, Cherie K. Berry, comedy, elevators, humor, postaweek 17 Comments »Dear Cherie Berry,
You’re always there for me.
You’re always there, Cherie
Well, actually, you’re not ALWAYS there for me. You’re really only there when I’m in large public buildings. But when I’m in those buildings, so are you.
Thanks for that, Cherie. May I call you Cherie?
Elevators could be a real crap shoot, couldn’t they Cherie? Jump in an automated metal box, go up to someplace high, count on it to open up and let you out. We can’t see the stuff that makes it work, its more of a matter of trust. When I say matter of trust, I’m talking about the concept, not the Billy Joel song of the same title.
You let me know that they aren’t a crap shoot. I know I’m going to be OK because you let me know that I am. You’re so sure of it, you signed the document that tells me how safe the elevator is. Some people would put more stock in the signature of the person who inspected the elevator. Not me. I think it is more important to see that you signed off to let me know that everything is cool.
One. Twooooo. A one, two, tree, four. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
In fact, anyone can sign their (or some other person’s) work. You go one step better. You put your face on the work. It is so helpful to see you there on a certificate in every elevator in the state. I walk on an elevator and see you there on the wall, smiling the smile that tells me I can take this lift all the way to the top.
You have smiled in every elevator I’ve stepped into in North Carolina the past few years. That’s good. I would get out of any elevator without your smile in it. I believe that if an elevator does not pass inspection, it gets a certificate with a picture of you scowling. If I see that scowl, I will be taking the stairs. That is how influential you are on my behavior, Cherie.
My birth certificate has the signature of the doctor that delivered me. It would be so much more impressive if that document had the doctor’s picture on it. We both know that’s not going to happen for me. I’m an old guy. It is a pretty safe bet that obstetrician is long gone.
It isn’t too late for future generations, Cherie. You are in a position to influence more people to put their photos on their work. I’m sure you’ll get it done.
‘Cause it’s always been a matter of trust for me.
Matter of trust, the concept, not the Billy Joel song.
Thanks Cherie.
Sincerely,
Omawarisan
Hmmm….I wonder if it would have helped to get her picture and sign-off on my marriage certificate?
…ok, now that I’ve had my coffee I’ll stop being Debbie Downer. I would like to add that I had some Cherie Berry at Ben and Jerry’s last night and it was delicious.
If she were, you’d have to put it in a very public place. She likes that.
Actually, I think that would be good ice cream. A little bit chocolate?
No, that would be too close to Cherry Garcia. I would think it fruity with just a hint of ding-a-ling (ala Chuck).
Trader Joe’s sells something called Cherry Berry Blend, which is a mixture of frozen cherries, raspberries, blueberries, and maybe strawberries. I sometimes make smoothies out of it. They’re delicious.
You are lucky you don’t have to take elevator rides in Alabama. The certificate picture and signature on those inspection documents is of “Turtleman” the hillbilly TV star of the program bearing his name. To make matters worse the elevator mechanic who checks and repairs the elevators is Turtleman’s room mate and bag holder whenever they hunt skunks and raccoons.
After you access an Alabama elevator and push the up or down button, the door closes and you get Turtleman’s victory scream. Then the elevator starts to move.
Man, that guy is disturbing.
This certificate is perfect.
I am so distracted by Cherie’s lovely signature and what my friend who does handwriting analysis would say about her trustworthiness . . . .
. . . and by whether her name is pronounced /she-ree’/ (accent on the second syllable) or /sherry/, rhymes with ‘berry’ . . .
. . . .and whether Berry is her maiden name and did her parents name her that intentionally or . . .
. . . how that’s a really nice professional photo — patriotic, friendly, professional. . .
and how great your Billly Joel caption is, that I’d be at the 165th floor before I even worried about an elevator malfunction.
She is elevator safety personified.
Thanks on the caption. I was worried it might be too obscure.
Yes, esoteric, high brow references like that can be tricky. (What I meant is all I had to do was read it and the song was in my head. . . )
I pretty sure it’s pronounced, “shuh-REE,” but I always pronounce it the other way, anyway.
That would be brilliant! Photo ID for everything a person is responsible for. It is easy to change one’s signature or even one’s name but you would have to be really invested to not be recognized to change one’s face.
It’d probably cause people to focus on getting things right. One bad elevator mishap with your picture on the wall and you’d have to go into exile, maybe become the elevator person for the Falkland Islands.
No, I don’t know why the Falklands.
The question is…can “she come out tonight?” I wonder if her husband’s name is “Frank.”
I wonder what her mister would think of her coming out tonight.
In Florida, there’s no photo…just a signature. But think of the PR a photo brings! I wonder how long it will be before the photos appear in Florida elevators…
I just saw a campaign ad for her the other night. It is her, speaking from her place on the certificate.