Checks Are So 1970′s
Posted: October 17, 2012 Filed under: Getting older | Tags: aarp, aging, business, comedy, Credit Union, humor, life, postaweek, senior citizens 39 Comments »
A Credit Union. Not mine, but I’m sure they’re nice people. (Photo credit: I-5 Design & Manufacture)
I stopped by my Credit Union today. I left a richer man.
I didn’t rob them, and I didn’t clean out my account. They just decided to give me stuff because I am alive. I didn’t even ask. This is a business model I can get behind.
“You’re over fifty, right?” When the teller asked me, I admitted she was right. How could I fib about my age to someone who had the guts to ask the way she did? I would never ask someone if they were over fifty because I would instinctively pick a person who would answer with an insulted “no”.
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait…
Because I’m over fifty, I am now eligible for Senior Checking.
Getting older is such a treat. Old me gets away with saying things at work that would have gotten young me fired. I laugh at paying full price at hotels. Old me dines, but the bill is smaller than it was. Now the credit union is in on the racket I’ve got going.
The age guessing teller sent me to an office to arrange my transition to Senior Checking. A woman who likely had her own Senior Checking account was there to help me. To be honest, I think she was over fifty. For reasons I have already mentioned, I did not ask if she was over the magic age.
We got along famously. Those of us who’ve had time to experience the world understand how to relate to one another. We had a rapport, so I felt comfortable asking what Senior Checking entitled me to.
…And To Those Who Live Long Enough
Satisfies, in a secure location (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Being over fifty gets me a free safe deposit box. Youngsters pay to put stuff in the vault. When I put something in the vault, the credit union feels that the privilege of storing whatever I choose to put in there is payment enough. I agree.
I’m not sure what I’m going to store in the vault. Right now, a Snickers bar is the leading contender. I’ll leave it there for two weeks, then return to eat it.
They’re also giving me five free cashier’s checks a month. This will be handy during those months that I purchase five houses.
The best part of Senior Checking is…free checks! I can write checks as long as I have money in the account. When I run out of checks, they’ll print more of them. I wouldn’t mind writing them a check to pay for the new checks, but I don’t have to. I don’t have to, because I am over fifty.
It’s good to be a senior. Businesses dig us. They value who we are and I appreciate that.
If only I could get over this nagging feeling that they’re giving us free checks because we are the last ones who remember how to use them.
Gives you a good reason to try to make it to 60 to see what goodies they give out then, huh?
I hope its a puppy. I could use a puppy.
In California you have to be like 65. I think you should have responded, “Why yes I am over 50. Are you pregnant?” just to see her reaction.
Hilarious post.
Thank you!
No way. I’ve seen the p-word question go horribly wrong for several people. When I think that, I always ask myself “what if she’s just wearing a really bad top?” 15% of the time, she is. That’s way outside my acceptable margin of risk
I prefer when they just look at my gray hair and automatically give me the discount. No discussion needed.
Linda, that day is coming soon for me. Mine is starting to turn gray fast. If it picks up a little more speed people are going to ask if I’m dying it gray.
Maybe you could use your safe deposit box as more of a time capsule type thing – just store lots of crap in there that young children in a hundred years time can dig out and be fascinated by. I’ve got a Game Boy you can put in there. I thought those boxes only happened in ‘the movies’, I wonder if we have them here in Australia, I’ve never heard of anyone ever having one here.
Welcome Jane!
I like that idea. I’ll give the key to my son to give to my grandchildren. They’ll open the box when they’re adults and think “the old man was insane”.
The only thing I still use (used) check for was my last car’s lease payment. Nissan charged an extra $5 or so for the privilege of paying them through their website. The lease expired a couple months ago and I did not return to Nissan. But I still have some checks left.
They charged you to use a system that was cheaper for them? They aren’t that bright, are they?
I think the collapse of the check printing industry is the cause of the world’s financial crisis.
Oma, this will make my list of my top favorite posts of yours. Maybe I’m reading this too early in the morning, still groggy with sleepiness, but this had me laughing hard. And the Snickers bar in the vault? Priceless. Though you should probably upgrade to a $100,000 Bar. (Do they still make those? Those bars may have gone south with checks.)
P.S. I still use checks. Coincidentally, my 50th birthday is less than 8 yrs away.
Too early? It was 8:15! I’m glad you liked it.
Your reaction gave me an idea of something else I have to write now…thank you much.
Came over from Lenore’s recommendation and loved the post! I am on the other side of 50 and totally get it! How about a Payday for the vault??? Or maybe two a month depending on how often you get paid??? Just imagine if you left all of those in there —by the time you retired you could have a whole lot of paydays!!! Thanks for the chuckles!
Welcome!
Haven’t had a payday in forever. I’ll have to secure one in my box.
I think it is a must!!!
I have been 50+ for longer than I care to think about. No such bounty has come my way. We have been cheering because He-Who turned 65 this year and he gets a lot of free and discounted stuff. I need to change to your bank.
Maybe there is an additional level at 65! Very cool.
My credit union is in the same building I work in. We don’t have a lounge or coffee break room at work. So, when it’s lunch time I go down to the credit union and take my lunch out of my free safe deposit box and sit in the nice quiet and private deposit box room and eat, take a nap and the I go back upstairs. I also keep an umbrella a fire extinguisher and car battery booster cables in my safe deposit box in case of an emergency. I’m 75 years old and earned a triple large free deposit box. It is 24 in. X 48 in. X 12 in. And it’s free! Every 5 years after 50 you get a bigger box.
At the rate you’re going, they’re going to give you a safe deposit condominium next year.
International Credit Union Day is on October 18–you might want to drop by with donuts or something and sit around and visit for a spell.
Tomorrow is Credit Union Day? How weird is it that I post this now?
Again with the donuts!
Maybe you can stockpile books of free checks in your free safe deposit box. Just seems that would be clever.
I like that. See how long it takes for them to say “he keeps ordering checks, but none ever come in to be cashed.”
Great post! The AARPS have got it goin’ on!
SHOW US THE MONEYYYYYYYYYY!
You get free stuff just for turning 50 — who knew?? How cool is that? So much better than giving you a pill and a raft and floating you out to sea or something. As for the safe deposit box, perhaps you could put a box of checks inside — your great-grandkids will marvel at the idea of such an old-fashioned way of exchanging money for stuff!
Nah. I think the raft is for when I stop having birthdays. Or, I hope it is.
I second the Snickers bar. Every couple of weeks, you should visit, eat it, and replace it. Be sure to walk out licking your fingers and asking for a napkin.
I wonder if there is a way I could get video of doing that.
You have to think outside the box. The safe deposit box, that is. I would put a Hostess Twinkie in there and let my descendants open it in 2112 and see if it’s still fresh. The Snickers is a good idea but don’t you think you should eat it while you still have teeth?
I wonder what the oldest twinkie in existence looks like
What’s a check?
They live near the poles.
Free safe deposit box..wow! That’s worth some decent money.
I’ve had free checking as long as I can remember, although I understand more and more “banks” are phasing them out. Credit unions are much more “customer” oriented than banks, probably because we sorta “own” the credit union.
I still use checks to pays bills which I can charge to one of my “rewards” credit cards. I don’t trust online banking. Too many Chinese and Russians hacking into purportedly “secure” systems. The Nigerians better change their M.O. if they want to make any real money….
Maybe the ownership aspect lends something to the decision making too. CUs didnt seem to get them into the same junk banks did in this last crisis.
I work in the credit union industry as a consultant. I’m taking your (anonymous) experience to my clients, who are looking for innovative ways to improve CU membership. To this day, I’m not sure why people still primarily use banks.
I wouldn’t go anywhere else. Signed up with this credit union when I got my job. I’m retiring in a year, keeping the CU.
I think you should start paying at McDonald’s with cashier’s checks.
All the same bad food and service, with twice the comedic potential. I like it.