Checks Are So 1970′sPosted: October 17, 2012
I stopped by my Credit Union today. I left a richer man.
I didn’t rob them, and I didn’t clean out my account. They just decided to give me stuff because I am alive. I didn’t even ask. This is a business model I can get behind.
“You’re over fifty, right?” When the teller asked me, I admitted she was right. How could I fib about my age to someone who had the guts to ask the way she did? I would never ask someone if they were over fifty because I would instinctively pick a person who would answer with an insulted “no”.
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait…
Because I’m over fifty, I am now eligible for Senior Checking.
Getting older is such a treat. Old me gets away with saying things at work that would have gotten young me fired. I laugh at paying full price at hotels. Old me dines, but the bill is smaller than it was. Now the credit union is in on the racket I’ve got going.
The age guessing teller sent me to an office to arrange my transition to Senior Checking. A woman who likely had her own Senior Checking account was there to help me. To be honest, I think she was over fifty. For reasons I have already mentioned, I did not ask if she was over the magic age.
We got along famously. Those of us who’ve had time to experience the world understand how to relate to one another. We had a rapport, so I felt comfortable asking what Senior Checking entitled me to.
…And To Those Who Live Long Enough
Being over fifty gets me a free safe deposit box. Youngsters pay to put stuff in the vault. When I put something in the vault, the credit union feels that the privilege of storing whatever I choose to put in there is payment enough. I agree.
I’m not sure what I’m going to store in the vault. Right now, a Snickers bar is the leading contender. I’ll leave it there for two weeks, then return to eat it.
They’re also giving me five free cashier’s checks a month. This will be handy during those months that I purchase five houses.
The best part of Senior Checking is…free checks! I can write checks as long as I have money in the account. When I run out of checks, they’ll print more of them. I wouldn’t mind writing them a check to pay for the new checks, but I don’t have to. I don’t have to, because I am over fifty.
It’s good to be a senior. Businesses dig us. They value who we are and I appreciate that.
If only I could get over this nagging feeling that they’re giving us free checks because we are the last ones who remember how to use them.