Pumpkins Can Swim
Posted: September 2, 2012 Filed under: Guest Post | Tags: food, humor, life, pumpkin 25 Comments »The next installment in Guest Post week also comes from God’s country, Maryland. In this edition, Thoughts Appear warns me about a potential threat from our mutual enemy, Pumpkin. Through her links, she also reveals a long hidden secret. Enjoy her work here and over at her blog!
Dear Omawarisan,
Over the last couple years, you and I have bonded over our mutual dislike of coffee, our love of crab, and both of us living in the great state of Maryland.
You’ve passed along tasty hot chocolate tips like adding a flavor shot of raspberry or orange. You’ve been like a father to me. And I am forever in your debt.
But today I’m repaying that debt, and I’m writing to warn you. Be careful, Oma. A battle is beginning, and our mutual enemy is gathering an army.
On a recent trip to Fort Lauderdale, I woke up early for a stroll on the beach. And I saw this:
Apparently, pumpkins can float.
A pumpkin. On the beach.
What would bring a pumpkin so far from its natural habitat? Obviously, it was a spy. And if they’re already watching me, they’re definitely coming for you.
If they’ve taken to the water, they’ve probably taken to the skies as well.
Watch your back (and your head), Oma. Pumpkins are launching an attack.
Your second lieutenant in the fight against pumpkins,
Thoughtsy
Dear Thoughtsy — Please explain how your reconcile your dislike for pumpkins with your love of Halloween. Your friend, Hipster.
I don’t see any inconsistency here. A true pumpkin-hater would probably enjoy killing a pumpkin, desecrating its corpse, and displaying it in her window on Halloween.
I’ve never been particularly afraid of pumpkin’s. But after reading her response I have to admit I wouldn’t dare cross Laura!
I carved a pumpkin once just as a message to all pumpkins of the damage I could do. Ever since I just ignore them around Halloween. It’s more peaceful.
Dear Thoughtsy and Oma – Please. I beg of you. Stop the madness. Pumpkins are good. They are nice. They make yummy pies (or shall I say I make yummy pies) and produce tasty seeds. And if may pimp myself out, they are the warmer of the month with a 10% discount for the month of September. Here’s the pimpy part: http://www.GisSilent.Scentsy.us
Is there a 15% discount on something chocolate scented?
Perhaps this was a participant in last year’s Punkin Chunkin. After being flung from the environs of Bridgeville DE, it landed in the Atlantic and made its way to Florida. It could happen.
About 10 years ago, I went scuba diving for a week near halloween. I lived on a sailboat btwn Miami/Lauderdale and Bimini. We had an underwater pumpkin carving contest. I won. This may be that pumpkin…a zombie pumpkin!
It’s like a message in a bottle, only without the message or the bottle. Ok, maybe it’s not like a message in a bottle.
Dear Thoughtsy and Oma … I read this while enjoying a Terrapin Pumpkinfest beer, and I liked it.
Traitor….
Great post…thanks for the reminder that Thanksgiving is approaching…and winter. Yeah…really thanks a whole bunch.
The only thing I like to carve is turkey.
The Owl and the Pussycat’s other trip out to sea. I bet that pumpkin is far more seaworthy than a pea pod.
I happen to like pumpkins. Seriously. But there’s just something wrong about finding one on the beach. Or in the air. There might be a logical explanation, but I can’t guess what it could be.
I can’t speak for Oma, but I’m just going to pretend I didn’t read the first sentence of your comment. I totally agree with the rest of it.
Pumpkin pie is delicious. Maybe you can use the flesh of this desicated corpse to whip up one of those. Bring whip cream, too.
At my count, this makes 4 Merlenders writing on this post. This might upset the entire balence of the universe. Oh well, fun while it lasted.
Miiiiiiiisty…no…. I guess this just means more key lime pie for me.
Hahahahahahaha, OMA! She said it, she said it! Pumpkin pie is delicious. So there.
*Warning all bad puns are intended so do not encourage interloper. Ever! Continue at your our risk.(Praise is genuine and not in bad taste)*
Pumpkins add spice to life. Or death. Sea you next time and great post.
Love the puns! They’re punny!
Why thank you and not a bad job there yourself.
A pumpkin before Labor Day? Please. Some marketing “genius” is really pushing their luck. What’s next? Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving? Oh…wait…
[...] you following me on Twitter? If so, you already know that I guest posted on Oma’s blog about the imminent pumpkin threat this season. If not, go check it out. It may save your [...]
There are no pumpkins in Sweden
Thank goodness Oma is armed and dangerous.