In Search Of Super BirdPosted: July 9, 2012
A long time ago, there was the incident. The incident led to a response. That response was so swift and sure that it eliminated not only the toy that I used to cause the incident, but anything on the planet that referred to it.
I want that toy back. I want a Super Bird.
What Is A Super Bird?
Searching the net for Super Bird brings up many sites and photos about the 1970 Plymouth muscle car with the big wing on the back.
This is not the Super Bird that I am looking for. Of course, if you have one of these cars that you’re sick of, I’d make room for it in the driveway.
The object of my search is a toy, but not a toy car.
I had this toy when I was five or six years old. It was light plastic, hollow, and vaguely dove shaped. My Super Bird was white, with a blue felt cape and a painted on mask.
Inside the body were the workings of the toy – a spring-loaded plastic wheel of spokes, with a suction cup on the end of each spoke. When a string that extended from the bird’s side was pulled, it wound the wheel and spring. The bird could then be stuck onto a smooth, vertical surface. He would climb it using his suction cup feet. The spring would turn the wheel so that as one cup would release, the next would rotate into position and stick.
My history with suction cups has not been good. Super Bird was the exception. He was a very effective climber. I’d wind him, stick him to a window and he would pop, pop, pop right up to the top.
I spent a lot of time walking the toy up any vertical surface his feet would stick to. It was exciting to see him climb the fridge, the stove and the door. I even made him climb the television during his own commercial. It was exciting, but I wanted more.
If just seemed that if Super Bird could climb a refrigerator then he should be able to climb a lot of other things. I made a great effort to find those things. I was a trial and error guy, but I didn’t pick up on the bird’s need for a smooth surface. Maybe I should have kept notes.
In the midst of the trial and error, I had an idea. It would be really good if Super Bird walked across a person’s head. That idea was the start of the incident.
My brother was three years younger than I was. He’s still three years younger; he hasn’t gained a day on me in the decades since this incident. Let’s not dwell on his lack of ambition in that area. We’ll move on to my regretful choice concerning him and Super Bird.
I envisioned putting Super Bird on my brother’s head. I’d see the bird walk over his head and fall off, bumping his nose after falling from his forehead. Things did not work out according to my vision.
Suction cups do not stick to a three-year-old’s hair in quite the same way they do to glass. The spring-driven wheel spun, tangling itself into my brother’s hair. I tried taking it off of his head, but Super Bird had a spring-loaded death grip on his hair and was pulling it. He was yelling.
This was not going well for me. It was going worse for him.
It took her several minutes to free my brother’s hair from Super Bird’s grip. She was not happy with me or Super Bird. One of us disappeared, forever. The other is here, writing about a missing toy.
Here’s The Thing
My mom was really mad and I never saw Super Bird again. I’m a parent, I get that.
If you search the net, you won’t find Super Bird. He doesn’t come up on an image search. He isn’t available on e-Bay.
I get that she was mad. I understand why I didn’t get my bird back, I probably would have put him on my brother again. Everything I can think of is on the internet…except Super Bird. Did she really go into the future and eliminate him from the net? That is the only explanation for the fact that no one knows about this toy.
Please let me know if you happen to see one. I’m still a trial and error guy, and my brother still has a good head of hair.