An Olympic InjusticePosted: July 6, 2012
The Summer Olympic Games are coming up fast. Years of preparation by athletes from around the world will pay off with moments in the spotlight and a proud memory they’ll carry for a lifetime. The best of the best will bring home a medal and get to do a Mc Donald’s commercial.
The best of the best will bring home a medal.
There is injustice at the Olympics.
I’m not talking about when the Latvian judge unjustly scores our country’s newest gymnastic heroine. That isn’t injustice. Screwing over the pixie du jour of another country is part of gymnastics’ culture.
The great injustice of the Summer Olympics occurs in the equestrian events. In these competitions, the best of the best athletes never go home with a medal. The medals go to the person on the athlete’s back.
Being an Olympic equestrian rider implies a certain level of skill. I do not have that skill level. Those who do impress me.
The horses do most of the physical work in this event. They put on a tremendous display of athleticism and skill; they do it with another creature on their back. The rider’s primary job is to aim the horse and hang on. Not everyone can do that, but doing so doesn’t compare with jumping a fence with 150 pounds on your back.
If we’re going to have equestrian events in the Olympics, we should do right by the athletes. Let’s give the medals to the real athletes, the horses.
I’m Sort Of Sorry
This proposal will likely not be well received by our nation’s Olympic Equestrian Team. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to be the one who points reality out to them.
It would be cold hearted to propose this change and not provide an avenue for the super wealthy to get the same Olympic medals that poor people work their butts off for. Here is a short list of suggestions to get them on the path toward earning legitimate medals:
- Compete in a sport that does not involve top hats. Top hats are for people like Rich Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly and Abe Lincoln. Abe and Pennybags were good men, but not Olympians.
- Get involved in a sport where a 72 year old could not make his nation’s team.
- Earn a medal in something where you are actually on your own feet. Equestrian events are the equivalent of getting a piggyback ride from your uncle.
When Thurston Howell VII starts running and leaping fences, he can earn a medal. Until that happens, let’s see Trigger on the medal stand.