The Policies Of My Administration: Campaign SignsPosted: May 30, 2012
I’ve realized that some people have, in the course of reading my policy discussions, developed the impression that I will be running for some sort of elected post. This is not true.
When I refer to my administration, I am discussing how I will be running things from a position that transcends politics. I would not sink to anything as base as behaving like a politician.
I considered giving myself the title Incognito Emperor Of The World, once I take over. After some thought, I realized that the advantages of people knowing that I am running the show are too great to ignore. I’ll be the most cognito guy who ever ruled the world. I’ll put some more thought into my title.
Enough about me. Let’s keep in mind that policy announcements aren’t about me, they are about me dealing with other people who must be dealt with – by me. In the case of this announcement, those people are politicians.
As Tempting As Eliminating Politicians Is…
No one can be everywhere and handle everything. I’ll need someone to pass off some work to. Politicians seem like those someones. I intend to dump all the uncool things down to them.
Politicians will still exist. With those creatures come their blight on the landscape, campaign signs.
I’ve never met anyone who said they chose the candidate they’d vote for based on the font and color choices on their campaign signs. Political types seem to believe those people are out there. If they are out there, I don’t think they are bright enough to read this blog. I should consider putting a blog to appeal to those folks. I’d have to type it much slower so they could sound out the big words.
Since political types and their signs are going to stay with us, I want you to know that they will do so under my watchful eye. Campaign signs that linger around for weeks and months after the election won’t be a problem because I am about to eliminate the issue.
My Policy On Campaign Signs
When I am running the world, politicians will be allowed to post campaign signs, with a difference. The difference is that the signs will have the candidate’s home address printed on the back of them.
Seven days after the election, citizens would be encouraged to uproot any campaign signs that have not been collected by the candidates’ staffs. They could then fold them in half, staple them, and drop them in a mailbox. The post office would them deliver all of the signs to the homes of the candidates. The people who ran for office will be billed for the postage it took to get each sign dropped off at their homes.
Win the election and think you’re too good to pay the post office? Maybe you are, but you’re not taking office until the post office says you’re square with them. Sore loser? Not going to pay? You wont be allowed to run for another office until you do.
There’s my solution. Simple. Effective. Something the people can get behind, not unlike their Highly Cognito And Benevolent Emperor Of The World.