War Horse: A Plot SummaryPosted: January 6, 2012
One of the big movies this weekend is War Horse. I’ve seen the commercials. I have no intention of seeing the movie.
I have already reviewed and revealed the story of another movie I had no intention to see. I’m pretty sure I was spot on that time, though I didn’t see the movie to confirm I was right. Because of my high level of accuracy, if you intend to see War Horse I must warn you not to continue reading this post.
Are They Still Here?
OK, good. Let’s move on. Based completely on what I’ve seen on television commercials and remember from high school history class, here is the story of War Horse:
Archduke Ferdinand was riding around in his car when some guy assassinated him.
Unlike so many other men named Ferdinand, the archduke was a pretty popular guy. All the countries of Europe got upset and just started fighting each other. Have you ever seen a cowboy movie where they are in a saloon, two guys start fighting and then everyone in the bar just gets up and starts fighting each other for no good reason? It was like that except, without a piano player in the corner.
Then one day, some men came to the farm. They bought the horse, along with all the other horses and put them on a train. The horse heard he was going to the big war. The scene closes with the horse’s head sticking out the window of the train, screaming “I don’t want to go, I don’t have a dog in the fiiiiiiiiiight”.
There is a brief segment of the horse, now renamed War Horse, in England with the other horses who were drafted to fight in the war. They were all different and fought amongst themselves. In the end, they realized that they were all there for the same thing and they were stronger as unit then they were as individuals. So it was off to mainland Europe, where the bulk of the story takes place.
In Europe, stuff kept happening that startled War Horse. Each time he ran and ran. He ran until he got tired. The army would capture him and send him back, and he’d run again. War Horse realized that war is hell. In that way, he was so much smarter than all the leaders who started the fight when Archduke Ferdinand died. War Horse’s realization was the origin of the phrase horse sense.
Eventually the war ended. Nothing was really accomplished by this war, as is the case with most wars and cowboy bar fights. Archduke Ferdinand was still dead. War Horse went to war a colt and came back a changed horse. Those who stayed behind welcomed him back to the pasture.
Like so many of our youth who are sent off to fight for their country for hazy reasons, War Horse found himself struggling to make ends meet when he got home. Eventually, he changed his name to Man O’ War and found work running at the race track. He had great experience at running in the war and it showed. His racing career was highly successful. On the list of the top 100 race horses of the twentieth century, he is ranked first.
War Horse/Man O’ War dictated his memoir, then passed on peacefully surrounded by family.
Fade To Black