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Wanda Can’t Leave.

Mug shot of Craig, 2007

Speaking of guys who have dates in airports...(Image via Wikipedia)

Remember that movie, The Terminal, where passport issues force  Tom Hanks to live in an airport terminal? Naturally he ends up dating Catherine Zeta-Jones, because lots of women like the kind of guy whose love life focuses on having  dates in airports.  Yeah, I didn’t see the movie either, but do you remember it?

I think I know where there is someone in a similar situation. No, this person is not dating Catherine Zeta-Jones. As best I can tell, the person I’m talking about lives in a local supermarket.

She Is There Everyday

February 2010

Here is a list of days Wanda will work in February. (Image by CameliaTWU via Flickr)

I cannot remember the last time I was at this supermarket and the woman I’m talking about was not there.  She is there when I go during the day. She is there when I go at night. When I drive by on my way to other stores, I see her arranging displays near the doorway. Weekends, weekdays, it doesn’t matter. She is there.

Let’s call this woman Wanda, because that isn’t her name. If I got up from typing this and drove to the store right now, Wanda would be there working. Yes, she works there, but this is something more than someone who works a lot. It is impossible to catch her not there.  I think she lives in the store.

That Has To Suck.

Hernando DeSoto Bridge takes Interstate 40 acr...

Hey, is that Wanda behind us? No, she's at work. (Image via Wikipedia)

Let’s face it, we all like to go home from work. There is a certain something about seeing the office in the rear view mirror. Wanda never ever gets that feeling of relief that the rest of us enjoy. When she gets off work she goes back into some living space she has carved out somewhere in the store. She’s still within those walls.

Wanda’s problem is worse than just not being able to get away from the store. All the store’s employees know she’s in the building. She is never out of the loop, never inaccessible to the employees. If something happens, everyone knows they can go back and roust Wanda from her relaxing evening at not home. This is sort of like when your office has your cell phone number…except worse.

So Wanda’s availability to help in every crisis in the store accounts for me seeing her no matter what time of day or day of the week I stop in to pick up some celery. Poor Wanda.

That Has To Suck, But Not Completely.

Not being allowed to leave work, ever, is not something I would hope for. All the same, I think there have to be some real perks to it, even without dating Ms. Zeta-Jones.

Snow has been battering the US this winter, closing schools and businesses all over.  Wanda never worries about if the weather is too bad to get to work, or about having a weather related collision in her car. Good weather or bad, Wanda’s commute is literally moments long. No scraping icy windshields. No hot car seats in the summer. Wanda walks out the stock room doors and she is on time for work.

Most of us have experienced the frustration of realizing half way through preparing a dish that we are missing a critical ingredient. Wanda has likely forgotten what that frustration is like. If she realizes she is missing garlic, or marshmallow fluff, or asparagus, a ready supply is literally steps away.  Wanda lives in a pantry that exceeds those in the finest professional kitchens. Her dinner parties are never ruined by last minute missing ingredients for her main dish.

I will concede that if she is making a dish that contains garlic, marshmallow fluff and asparagus, Wanda’s dinner party will be one of those events people talk about for all the wrong reasons.

The Weekend Is Here

Catherine Zeta-Jones at the Cannes film festival

Likes the smell of airport soap (Image via Wikipedia)

Some people, like Wanda, never leave work behind. I’m not like Wanda anymore.

I am grateful to have people in my life who’ve taught me the value of not being like Wanda. It is the weekend, so I’m going to go hang out with them. I actually have a whole weekend off. I’m going to relax and enjoy myself. I encourage you to do the same.

Oh, and if you run into Catherine Zeta-Jones, she apparently likes the smell of the soap in those dispensers in the men’s room down at the airport. Who knew?

Good luck to you.

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39 Comments on “Wanda Can’t Leave.”

  1. At least Wanda has an endless supply of ice cream to go with that marshmallow fluff.

    There’s a book (made into a movie) that sounds similar to Tom Hanks’s movie and Wanda’s grocery store.

    A girl (I think Natalie Portman plays the girl in the movie) ends up living in a Walmart…and I think she was pregnant.

  2. My ex-husband used to be a Wanda…that’s why he’s my ex…

    Wendy

  3. planetross says:

    Colonel Sanders is always outside of KFC when I drive by.
    Is that the sort of the same thing?

  4. I saw The Terminal once.

    You win because you didn’t.

  5. What happens if Wanda gets sick? Oh she doesn’t need to call in because she can tell them. And she can get some aspirin from the store too, can’t she? I guess it’s a win-win, especially if Wanda doesn’t have a life.
    Sunshine

  6. Hippie Cahier says:

    Have a nice weekend!

    Your friend,
    Wanda

  7. Betty says:

    I was enjoying this until I read the line about seeing the office in the rearview mirror….and then it hit me….as a home-based worker, I never see the office in the rearview mirror. Am I Wanda? (without the dinner party perks, of course)

  8. Zahara says:

    I commute to school every day. School is my “job” at the moment. I have often thought it would be rather nice to just set up a tent on the campus lawn or under one of the giant redwood trees, camp there during the semester, and avoid all the driving. I’m with Wanda.

  9. pattypunker says:

    plus, she’d never have to freeze her meat! she could just grab a butcher’s jacket and a cleaver and slice off a fresh chop.

  10. Now that you have made her famous, you should get her autograph!

  11. linlah says:

    I used to suffer from Wanda but I got therapy and now I too enjoy weekends off.

  12. Katybeth says:

    Interesting.
    The question I’m most frequently asked, “are you always on line.” Yes.
    I work from home, my house is always filled with visiting pups. This is a good things because it pays my mortgage and buys our food. On-line is my way of getting away from work; of going out.
    The concept of having a whole weekend off–is appealing and I might make it happen someday soon.
    Enjoy! Enjoy!


    I take full grammatical responsibility for this comment. The blogger (Blurt) is in no way responsible for my mis-spelled words, errant punctuation, or awkward sentence structure.

    Enjoy your weekend!!

  13. N B says:

    Poor Wanda! I hope she finds a weekend she can escape for a bit…. though, perhaps when it is not snowing like crazy.

  14. educlaytion says:

    Help me Wanda, can’t get her out of my mind… Yeah, I can be pretty Wanda-ish but not on my day job, only on writing and side projects. I’m not sure what that makes me.

  15. Jane says:

    I’ll bet Wanda is married to the guy who wears worn corduroy pants and a denim vest with lots of pockets. It’s possible he also sing far too much.

  16. Todd Pack says:

    I used to work in newspapers. Newspapers don’t like it when you have a personal life. I knew a reporter who worked so much, he came home late again one night and his wife had taped a sign to the garage door: “A SINGLE MOM LIVES HERE.” His editors thought it was pretty funny and joked about it at the annual employee appreciation dinner. (OK, there were only snacks and a cash bar, but it was at dinnertime, and attendance was mandatory.) I hear he’s divorced now.

  17. Laura says:

    Wanda is like the light in the refrigerator — all you can really be sure of is that she’s at the store whenever you are. I think she’s stalking you, and rushes to the store whenever she knows you’ll be there — otherwise, how do you explain the fact that she just happens to be near the doorway (and visible from the outside) when you’re driving by? If I were you, I’d change the lock on my front door and check my home and car for hidden cameras.

    On the other hand, I used to have a job where I was “on call” some evenings and weekends, and this post has reminded me of how nice it is not to have to deal with that anymore.

  18. spencercourt says:

    Sounds like those new GOP Congressmen who say they will live in their office on an air mattress so they can save on renting in D.C. I guess they don’t turn off the heat / AC in the building after 5?

  19. Pauline says:

    Poor Wanda! Grocery stores are pretty miserable at times! Perhaps there is a nearby apartment she could move to. Any emergencies, they could turn on the ‘Wanda’ signal and she would be right there!


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