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Why Is There Stuff For WikiLeaks To Leak?

There is quite a bit of talk on the news about the matter of the WikiLeaks website revealing diplomatic secrets of the United States government.

You can probably find any number of sites that will post the question of whether that site is doing a service to us all by serving as a whistle blower on diplomatic practices or whether they are causing instability by making it harder for diplomats to operate. We all know this site is not that highbrow.

My question regarding the WikiLeaks matter is nonetheless, important and must be answered: Why is this stuff written down so it can be leaked?

Since When Do We Write Spy Notes?

Good spies don't need written instuctions (image via suvudu.com)

Sure there’s lots of stuff that is really important in the leaks, like that the leader of Libya apparently likes to play doctor with his nurse. Why didn’t WikiLeaks find the memo that said it was a good idea to give people written instructions on who to spy on?

If we’re going to have spies and ambassadors out there in the world, I would really prefer that they be self motivating people who know just what to do.

Should they require instruction, I’d like to see them whispered into their ear, not sent to them in a cable.Remember the old days, when spies just met their contact on a park bench somewhere to get their instructions after a scripted conversation to validate who the contact was? Me too, or at least I prefer to believe those movies were accurate.

23 Skidoo, Cable For You Mr. Spy

Telegram Mr. Ambassador, there's spying to do! 23 skidoo! (image via guardian.co.uk)

Who sends cables anymore? The last telegram I saw was one my parents got when I was born. I was born a long time ago. Now the telegram industry exists to support diplomacy and spying. Good idea! No one will look for any secret stuff there, because no one knew you could still send a telegram.

Oh and if they do have to send a cable, maybe we could consider not keeping them around. I don’t know, we could consider maybe throwing some stuff of that nature away, couldn’t we? Maybe we could put all our old cables in an airplane with Amelia Earhart and y’know, get rid of them?

Wait, that last thing would have been a good idea, if I hadn’t written it down. Damn you WikiLeaks!

So is it me, or should we be avoiding writing some of this stuff down quite so much?

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31 Comments on “Why Is There Stuff For WikiLeaks To Leak?”

  1. Todd Pack says:

    I don’t understand why they’d put this stuff in writing, and I really don’t understand why they’d allow this stuff to be printed or forwarded.

  2. I’ve been wondering the same thing, myself. Surely that should be Rule No 1?

    • omawarisan says:

      Exactly! This should be the Spy Rule Book in its entirety:

      Spy Rule # 1: Don’t write things down about spying
      Spy Rule # 2 :

      That is all! Why do we know this and they struggle with it?

  3. planetross says:

    The “Spy vs. Spy” is a nice touch.

    People always wonder what their governments were thinking … now that I know … I’m wondering what were they thinking!!! hee hee!

  4. But, what if the spy is ‘knocked off’ by a James Bond type of spy? If it weren’t written down, no one would know.
    Plus, how would you get the info from one source to another? Surely you also remember the game ‘telephone’ from back in the school days, you whisper “The sky is blue” in one person’s ear and by the time it is whispered from one person to another, down the line, its “This guy is black & blue”.
    Bottom line, this current world is volatile enough, why would someone think it was a good idea to go around poking the angry beasts in the ribs? What good comes of that other than their own selfish ego boost?

  5. shoutabyss says:

    It keeps the thoughts in its head and doesn’t share them. It doesn’t write down the thoughts, either. It does this or it gets the hose.

    To think this whole wiki leaks problem could have been solved with a secret decoder ring. The government needs more breakfast cereals!

  6. I have a theory. Michael Jackson had been used as a distraction for years whenever the government needed to draw attention away from itself. Now that he’s dead they’ve been searching for another way to get eyes off them so now they have this whole WikiLeaks “scandal”. I mean seriously? Is it really that hard to shut down a website? Heck Vince McMahon had something like 20 websites shut down in a matter of hours that were going to broadcast his last pay-per-view. Are we to really believe these “incriminating and revealing” documents are anything more than fodder for the public to feast on and talk about for the next 6 months?

  7. Hippie Cahier says:

    This is why I write all my sensitive emails in invisible ink.

  8. We found him Captain!! says:

    The lady is right…… The following message is written with invisible ink.

  9. Pauline says:

    “So is it me, or should we be avoiding writing some of this stuff down quite so much?”

    Good question! It seems to me like when famous people videotape themselves engaging in..private affairs. Why leave a record out there that could possibly hurt you?

  10. pattypunker says:

    keep documenting, i love distraction and scandal.

  11. Katybeth says:

    I just read “somewhere” that the military is concerned about “geo-locating” on phones and computers. If the enemy can easily locate you….it could be a problem; your location could be leaked; you and your comrades could be wiped out. This gives new meaning to the words, “sign OFF.” I think using your memory is a very good plan A but of-course before we implement your plan, we will need to spend several billion dollars and several years researching its viability.

    • omawarisan says:

      that is why I am never really sure where I am.

      I’m fine with them spending that kind of money to validate my plan. I am the finest evaluator of my plans that they wll find for the money

  12. I leak everything that is told to me. That way, no one tells me anything important and I don’t have to worry about leaking anything. It’s a good system.

    • omawarisan says:

      So people know they’ve got no reason to expect privacy and either dont tell you what you don’t want to know, or tell you things that they want distributed. Very well thought out! This is, of course, why you are not a spy…or wait, maybe it is?

  13. Laura says:

    This comment intentionally left blank.

  14. BlackLOG says:

    In my experience most of what is kept hidden from the public only serves to protect the weasels in power. The official secrets act in the UK is almost laughable when you see what gets hidden away for 50 years.

  15. linlah says:

    We should put it on a tape that self distructs in 5 seconds.


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