Random stuff from a grocery run.
Posted: January 23, 2010 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: baby corn, celebrities, food, humor, jennifer aniston, Jessica Simpson, miscellaneous, random, shopping cart 26 Comments »
Baby Corn, baby.
One of the things on the list for today’s grocery run is a can of baby corn. The presence of the baby corn on the list brings up the debate of whether baby corn truly is the start of full-grown corn, or a completely separate species.
The debate ends here. It is just regular corn, harvested very early. It is like the veal of corn. For those of you considering starting a baby corn farm, you can expect to harvest about 8500 pounds of unhusked baby corn ears per acre.
There was no baby corn available today. Every brand that there was shelf space for was sold out. How does that happen? What does this mean for society as a whole? I don’t know.
Talent?
I’m in line to pay for the stuff on the grocery list, minus baby corn. A gossip magazine headline blares ” Jessica Simpson, New Year, New Boobs.” I guess we all have our resolutions.
I’m not sure I am going to go down the same path as Jessica this year. This makes forty-eight times in a row I have not done the same thing as her. That isn’t to say that I’ve never been seen out with a bunch of boobs, but those guys are my buddies and I don’t think I’m going to change any of them out.
The die is apparently cast for Jessica this year, it is the year of boobs. I’m going to make a couple suggestions for next year. First, I would suggest that she look into becoming talented. There is only so much silicone one can carry around. She’s going to need something more to base her career on.
The other thing I’d suggest is getting a dog that can kick a coyote’s ass. Perhaps a Red Wolf would be a good choice.
My revenge body chasing down an airline pilot and some other people.
Another magazine talks about Jennifer Aniston having a “revenge body.”
I like the idea of having a revenge body. I’m pretty low-key, but it might be nice to have a separate body to go out and do my dirty work when someone really gets under my skin. I like the idea so much that I commissioned an artist to create a depiction of my revenge body at work. By commissioned an artist, I mean found on the net.
I’ll have to get in touch with Jennifer and find out if her revenge body has different fingerprints and DNA than she does.
A sweet ride
When I left the grocery, I rode the grocery cart downhill through the lot to my car. It is just as fun in middle age as it was at eight years old. Sometimes the school boy heart wants to come out. I’m inclined to let it.
Of course there’s the whole “what if I break a hip” thought that comes to mind when I get going really fast.
Maybe that is part of the thrill.
i’ve commissioned that artist so many times (the net)…baby corn, baby back ribs, human babies….why are babies of things so much more tasty.
.
id want my revenge body to not look like me.
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nice new skin on the blog…is this your revenge blog?
No, no…the cool thing about the revenge body looking like you is when it gets to the person they know who sent it and they say, “damn, I really shouldnt have acted like that”.
Yes, this is my revenge blog. Feel my wrath!
I have decided not to do the Iron Man this year.
Again.
I’m going to support your decision by not doing it either.
I don’t eat baby corn. No need to be cruel to veggies. I say let them live their little veggie lives and mature completely before I eat them up.
Jessica and I have the same resolution this year? Get out!
Jennifer Aniston? I don’t know why, but she just seems so cool to me, like someone who would be awesome to hang out with. Too bad she somehow ended up being such magazine fodder.
Of course shes cool. She has a revenge body. She probably would let you use it to destroy your enemies.
Imagine the boss roaming the office, suddenly Jennifer Aniston’s revenge body is administering a savage beating to him. He is getting clobbered with a desk phone wondering “what’d I do to her?”
Baby corn doesn’t taste like grown-up corn, yet baby carrots do taste like their adult counterparts. Why is this? I know you’ll have an answer for me, Oma. You always do.
I’m quite curious as to why all the baby corn was sold out; it doesn’t seem like a product there’d be a mad rush for. I know I wasn’t responsible for it, though, as I’m not a fan of the stuff– I mean, it doesn’t taste like corn!
I wonder if the Salahis (allegedly) had something to do with it….
Actually, I do. Corn is the most vain of all grains. it works first on its outward appearance, then on its inner goodness. So, while it looks like corn, it is disappointingly not good like corn.
The Salahis of course! Buy up all the baby corn, wait for me to start doing my stir fry, show up with a can of baby corn and horn in on dinner. Those alleged clever bastards! My revenge body is going to answer the door that night.
Who knew corn had so much going on behind its ears? Oma, I can always count on you to provide me with invaluable kernels of knowledge.
Aw shucks.
That is the only corn pun I’ve got on hand. You are the winner!
I know a couple from Indiana. They say corn’s vain attitude is a big problem out there. Well, they haven’t said it yet, but I’m going to ask them to.
LOL!
I’m glad you don’t think I’m too corny.
“Friends, Romans, countrymen; lend me your ears” … of baby corn … it’s on my list!
Baby corn on my list was a Hall and Oates song, wasn’t it?
“I’m pretty low-key, but it might be nice to have a separate body to go out and do my dirty work when someone really gets under my skin.”
LOL! Me too! I want one! Who do I send the cheque to?
I’m starting a company, Revenge Bodies Incorporated. You can just make it out to RBI.
Since you are a ground floor customer, I will make your revenge body with the optional verbally abusive feature at no extra cost. Even Jennifer Aniston doesn’t have that feature.
I say damn the broken hip, I love to ride the cart and wish my trip included a hill.
It’s fun, isn’t it? I like when I get one that pulls to one side and I have to lean out to steer.
To one magazine Aniston has a “revenge body,” but to another publication she apparently has a “round” body — as in, fat, especially those upper arms. I guess it’s a fine line, isn’t it?
That proves she has a revenge body. How else could two reputable publications have two different views of the same woman? One of them is looking at the revenge body searching out the publisher of the magazine that says shes round.
Seriously though, its stuff like that that pushes young women to some unhealthy body images
Sadly, in the evolutionary contest between Red Wolves and Coyotes, coyotes are winning. Not only do they kick ass, they kick ass and then steal the women. Which is to say, they hybridize, which is why Red Wolves are rare and mostly in zoos. There are a number of ass-kicking alternates to consider though…the hyena, gray wolf (proven to kick coyote ass), puma/mountain lion/cougar, or American lion (well, that one is extinct but it was bad-ass in its day).
Gray works for me!
I could so use a revenge body. In fact, it’s all I’ve been thinking about lately. My revenge body could kick a few stuper butts as I passively look on while nibbling on popcorn.
Two more things I’d like to share with you: I don’t have a dog that can kick a coyote’s ass. I have two. I hear the coyotes at night outside our gate, wailing ’cause they can’t get in. My muscle dogs keep them out. They weren’t always muscle dogs. I think it’s the new dog food I’ve been feeding them. Too bad it was recalled.
And your new look looks great!
That is exactly how I envision people using their revenge body.
The muscle dogs intrigue me. Did you ever see Barry Bonds hanging around when you were at the pet shop?
LOL
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