I Want To Be A Sushi Chef

I retired from my police career in the fall of 2013. Twenty-eight years had passed since I showed up for my first day at the police academy. Those years took their toll on me, physically and emotionally. I’m proud of my career, yet I’m relieved that it is over.

And so I’ve settled into a life I never envisioned. I live quietly; cooking, exercising and writing fill my days. In the evening, I share dinner and laughs with my wife. I’ve got it good.

So, why couldn’t I? (image by katorisi CCbySA3.0)

Now and again, someone will ask “if you could, would you go back to The Job?”. There are parts of my career that I miss, but the short answer is no.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have ambition.

I Dream Of Sushi

While I’ll never wear a police uniform again there is a job that I’d jump at – sushi chef.  Read the rest of this entry »


Let’s Talk About Poop

You know, back in the day, people walked their dogs just as they do now. Also, back in the day, saying “back in the day” wasn’t an idiom. I’m not here to talk about idioms. I’m here to talk about poop.

Not just any poop, your dog’s poop. Yes your dog’s. No, not everyone’s dog’s poop, just your dog’s. Read the rest of this entry »


You Don’t Become A Baseball Player By Putting On A Uniform

omawarisan:

I wrote this about my dad a few years ago. The wisdom of his lesson has served me well throughout my life. Ironically, he taught this lesson using a game that he never played.
Call your dad today, if you can. He remembers you at your best. Sometimes he remembers you better than you actually were, and that is kind of cool too.

Originally posted on Blurt:

I love baseball. Always have. Always will.

Baseball Field Baseball Field (Photo credit: howsmyliving)

That doesn’t mean that I was especially good at it. I never threw particularly well. I could field adequately, but I wasn’t all that fast. The one thing I could do was hit. I didn’t hit the long ball, but I could get myself on base. When I was old enough to try out for Little League, I made the team.

I always made the team. That’s where I’d hit the wall.

I made the team, I had a uniform, I went to practice and I showed up for the games. I usually didn’t make it into the games. I’d go on the field for pregame drills. Sometimes I’d get the catcher’s mitt and warm up whatever pitcher the coach was going to put in the game next. A few times, he sent me out to coach third…

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My One Act Play About The Statue Of Liberty

Kinda in New York. Kinda in New Jersey. A proud symbol of the nation either way you look at it. (image public domain)

This week, I read quite a bit about the one-hundred-thirtieth anniversary of the Statue Of Liberty’s arrival in New York. One of the things I learned is that the statue is sort of in New York and sort of in New Jersey. Liberty Island is part of New York, but the waters surrounding the island are part of New Jersey.

As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I thought about how important the statue is to us as Americans. I considered how my relatives saw Lady Liberty as they came to the United States and what that meant to them. And I wondered why nations don’t seem to give each other cool gifts like that anymore.

But where the statue ended up…sort of in New Jersey, sort of in New York, got my imagination running on the idea of the statue being an over-the-top housewarming gift that a couple didn’t really know what to do with.

I tossed and turned. Eventually I got the idea far enough along that I could get some sleep. And this morning, I wrote a play about the statue as that outrageous housewarming present.

To paraphrase an old Army recruiting slogan – “I write more off the wall stuff before noon than most people write all day.”

Behold, my one-act play.

“The Gift”. Read the rest of this entry »


Trapped In My Own Body

Over the past few years, I’ve become healthier. I exercise and I make better food choices. My weight is down, I sleep well and I feel great. I’m going to live as close to forever as possible.

But I had a terrible experience this weekend.

My wife and I took a short road trip, but that wasn’t the terrible part. We checked in to a Bed and Breakfast and then walked in to town for dinner and drinks.

I Digress

Let me pause here to speak to those of you with the entrepreneurial spirit and the drive that inn-keeping requires.

This place would be a good Bed and Breakfast. It would be a better Soup and Snooze (image by AstaPro5 CCbySA4.0)

Bed and Breakfast isn’t a new idea. Everyone who lives in an old house in a quaint town has thought about opening an inn with this concept. Many of those who’ve thought about it followed through on the idea and have become successful. Places offering a good night’s sleep, followed by a breakfast of English muffins, hard-boiled eggs and orange juice are easy to find.

If you want to open an inn with a fresh idea, consider serving dinner instead of breakfast. Read the rest of this entry »


News Flash: Some Animals Don’t Mind Hurting You

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

The news media seems always eager to identify the latest “trends”. And yet they’ve missed a potentially dangerous one that has come up this week – animals have begun killing us at an alarming rate.

Hakuna Matataaaaauuuughh

“Dude, I will totally kill you” – every lion ever born (image by Robek CCbySA3.0)

A lion attacked and killed a woman as she toured a place called Lion Park in South Africa. Lion Park safety rules require visitors to tour in cars with their windows rolled up because, you know, lions.

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Let’s Do Fireball Shots! Bad Idea.

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Fireball.

Its name brings a smile to the faces bar owners who see their profits rising when they hear one of their unsuspecting patrons say “let’s do some Fireball!”. Why do I say unsuspecting patrons? Because as they’ve driven Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey from being a relatively unknown product to one of the top-ten liquors in the US market, few have taken note of Fireball’s dark secret.

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